Replies to 'Co-Parenting'

I was reading both your article and a similar one in this category.  I have been divorced for over 9 years and have an only daughter who just turned 17.   My ex has treated her horribly over the last four or five years so much, so that she requested I take him back to court to change the custody so she is not mandated to visit with her father.  This, only after a recent restraining order was denied.  I have been my daughter’s best friend her entire life and we were very close until she started to make bad choices affecting everything she had worked so hard to achieve.   She started lying, grades were dropping, trouble seemed to follow as she slid down that glass mountain.  Daddy had a completely new meaning, as he would indulge her every whim when I was trying to set boundaries and appropriate repercussions.   This undermining continued until the point of no return.   My ex was afraid to discipline her, as she would hold visitation as a hostage.  He said he did not see her enough to enforce any punishments he originally was to dole out.  His leniency created a disaster.    I sought outside help, and searched for over a year for a Life Coach to no avail.  Conventional Therapy was not helping.  She learned how to triangulate between the ex and I and started stirring things up.  He did not want her to come live with him and supported a Behavioral Modification School , not as severe as a boot camp.  There were no drugs involved.  Then, once I made the arrangements and sent her, he did a 180, denied every being a willing participant, tried to have me taken to court for kidnapping and conspired with my teenage daughter to devastate me if the time came.  Things got so bad that it was better off to have her home with me rather than spending the money  it took to place her there and we were making huge progress in overcoming the difficult times.   She signed contracts, made commitments and I flew there to bring her home.  My ex even agreed not to undermine the situation.  Ha!  Three weeks after returning home,  she jumped ship and now she has not even spoken a word to me nor has the ex and they want to change custody orders to have the father have her full time for the remaining months until she is 18.  She is clearly being coerced and bribed and is willing to say and do anything to maintain this newfound freedom and not have to come home and grow through the process.  I filed an emergency Ex Parte' court order to enforce therapy to restore our relationship and for the first time since our divorce,  the court is supporting my cause and can see that there is Parent Alienation as a serious factor.  I am not the popular parent but I am the only true parent.  It has broken my heart to be in this situation but hopefully, we have 10 months to try and repair the damage.   In her life, she will one day hopefully know that I loved her enough to make the tough choices.  She will also hopefully come to learn what true unconditional love is.  Good luck to you .  Do anything you can to save your daughter from her own bad choices.  Or, you may not ever get another chance.