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October 26, 2005, 12:44 pm PDT
Abusive Situation--Hello?!
Quote From: crybrameg1Hi, I too will be looking forward to this show. I am a little different, my fiancee & I met 10yrs ago when my children were 10 & 13. My kids have moved out & I now have 2 more - 5yrs&1yrs!!! & a new grandson!!!! Anyways, my son & my fiancee still don't speak. My son says they just don't have anything to say to each other - he comes for dinner & I notice a difference in my fiancee - he gets distant & moody! Basically, he was very tough on my kids - chores & other things were commanded & not asked of. My son ended up swearing & stuff!! & when I was away he moved out 2wks before graduation! I have told my fiancee how this makes me feel how he doesn't speak to my son & he says he just doesn't care to associate with him!!!! I am offended by this - he makes derrogatory comments to me & says he's just joking & I am sensitive!! I do speak to him about this & he apologizes but basically I am frustrated at times but hten we do have some great times together as well! I would hate to leave & be a single mom again & I don't feel that's an option - my daughter once said to me if I left now she would be pissed off because I should have left when they were at home! I too don't want to feel like a victim - I know I have middle child syndrome - I like everyone to get along & I tend to put my needs on the back burner and put everyone above me. I am working on that. Again good luck to any other couples out there & any advice about my children's relationship with their step-dad? My son says not to worry but I really notice it - he says at least they aren't fighting!!! Thanks. This may sound like a really stupid question--but if your fiance is as bad as you say he is, why is he still your fiance? You need to ask yourself some very important questions--what's it costing me and my kids to stay in this relationship? Is it worth the price? Am I better off with or without him? Right now, you are getting a preview of things to come if you marry him. So far, his abuse towards you and your kids has been verbal. What's to stop it from escalating to a physical level? His derogatory comments are not humorous, they're hurtful and disrespectful, as you have told him on numerous occasions. And why isn't it an option to leave and be a single mom again? Which would you prefer--to be happy alone, or sick with someone else? Every day, single moms are making ends meet, but more importantly, making a loving, nurturing home for their children. In 10 years, your fiance has not changed for the better; take the hint. Leave while you can; later on, he make it impossible for you to leave.
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