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Replies to '10/26 More Sex With Kim Cattrall!'
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October 30, 2005, 12:23 am PDT
 Quote From: nikann11 HI,
I noticed that in the background of your wedding picture on the show was a temple. I am going to assume that you are an LDS couple - along with both holding out until marrage. As a fellow member, I know the rules attatched to this subject, and I know that a lot of what you were told on the show is not really acceptable. I want you to know that when you two are alone in a bedroom - there are no rules. My only sex advice would be this - I would say that he can't even begin the sex part until he has mastered you first. The actual sex does nothing. It has to come in different ways. Don't lie about the way anything feels and RELAX. Try to start the evening with candle light - a shower - a message - sexy music, and then don't be afraid to get a little outside of the box. I believe that we are told to stay away from a lot of things because it's danerous to addiction, but in your case I do believe it is nessesary for you to find it for yourself - with the knowledge & OK of your husband and not in secret behind his back, I really don't think that you are doing anything wrong by discovering this. Sometimes, in this life, we have to get a little outside of the book. A life time without knowing is a lot worse and it's not fair at all to expect you to just live with it... As long as it's just a discovery and then that's it, I wouldn't feel guilty or ashamed at all.
Good Luck It was good for me to see an LDS couple (I'm assuming) being honest about intimacy being important, and problems being important enough to you to come on national tv.I agree about not lying about feelings, ever.I agree that what was discussed on the show and muchly on these message boards is not part of what we believe to be a way to keep our chastity (i.e. masturbating or using videos or internet pictures to "help"). I'm not trying to be judgemental or self-righteous to anyone else out there, I'm simply being honest about our perspective of the sanctity of intimacy within marriage. My perspective is that sex is meant to be shared together, and therefore masturbating away from our spouse or using videos or other things to turn us on is a way of turning outside the marriage for problems inside the marriage.On the other hand, I also agree that I personally think that if there is some exploration when your husband is present, that may be a very important help, and is a way for you and your husband to still enjoy each other and possibly overcome your obstacle of not reaching orgasm. I also think that keeping in touch with a doctor about possibilities that are helpful aside from non-option suggestions, may be very helpful. There's a book called "The Act of Marriage" that was helpful to us when we first married. Also, lots of time and no pressure allows us to continue to re-define our love life as we have chosen to have 3 children since we were married over 8 years ago. It seems different periods of time change the flow of things, but one thing remains constant--we love each other and continue to "practice," often learning and finding new ways of touching each other that enhance our love life. After 8 years of marriage, I feel sex, or making love, is a very awesome part of marriage, and am grateful that we did remain chaste until we were married, as you did. It feels wonderful that there is only one person with whom I share myself with, that I waited and gave that gift to him, and him to me. I love the law of chastity. : ) Continue seeking to be able to have orgasm, but at the same time, keep it so low-key about what you expect, until you reach that point, or otherwise you'll feel dissapointed even over good loving and good foreplay and what we sometimes call "gentle love," meaning that sometimes we show more of a gentle expression that we love each other rather than that we really want to wow each other on a particular night. Anyway, good luck, and God bless. |
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