Replies to 'Online Dating'

Rather than being afraid of online dating try just thinking of it as another avenue.  You still have to use the same common sense and intuition you would in any other way to meet people. It actually can be a good way to get as much information as you think you need to feel comfortable before you see someone in person.   That is if you use the services that provide confidentiality rather than just trying to talk to people in chat rooms. Good luck.

Hi,

I also have been divorced but it will be 2 years in December. I tried on - line dating services...and to me it's a crock of crap.

You don't say how old you are or where you live which does make a big difference. I am 58 but look younger than that, thank God.....I live in NY...........

I met 3 men thru 2 different dating sites...........one I met for coffee, seemed like a very nice man, attractive, worked locally and he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner the following weekend, said, yes and then he said he'd call me.........got sick during the week and one night took my phone off the hook and went to bed early. He got mad that I did that and said so in an email and never contacted me again. Another man, we wrote emails for a month, then spoke on  the phone for a month.........he knew me pretty well and I also thought I knew him........he came to my house and we went out to dinner.............after dinner, he expected me to sleep with him, Don't think so!!! Met another guy..........we emailed for awhile, I went on vacation for a month, he called all the time,he seemed to know me better than I knew myself.............when I got back, we met the next day for coffee and sat and talked for over 2 hours.........I invited him to my home for our annual July 4th. party........he came early, brought a nice gift........helped cook, clean up, was very attentive. He was the last to leave and I walked him to his car in our driveway.....he hugged me and said what a wonderful time he had, loved my family and friends, and said he felt as if he knew everyone a long time and asked if he could call the next day which was Sunday................well, he never called, I was fuming inside but I wasn't go to call him. On Tuesday, my daughter and I were lying by the pool and talking..............well Guess What??..............on one of his trips inside my house to use the bathroom, one time, my daughter was in the kitchen making drinks in the blender...............HE MADE A PASS AT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I emailed that evening and told him exactly what I thought of him and that he had some nerve making a pass at my daughter, etc., etc...........he wrote back and said he never did.....................

After that, I'm off all dating sites.............if God wants me to meet another man, then I will, but if not, that's okay too.............for I have to be happy with me first cause no man can give that to me...

Another reason the dating sites are a crock, when I was going thru my divorce, I checked out 2 dating sites just to see what it was like.................my soon to be ex-husband was on one of them, he had put up professional pictures and all he wrote in his profile were lies.............So after that, and the experiences meeting tthe 3 men, it's not worth my time.................there are a lot of men who are on many sites, but have slightly different pictures, use a different username, and change what they say in each profile.....and I'm sure women out there do the same.............

You say you are terrified that you end up with a pervert..............you're right............you never, ever know who you're talking to..............you take a chance when meeting a man.........Not for me anymore...........

As the author of the book "He's just not that into you"...........he states in the book and on one of Oprahs' shows...........all men, no matter what age, just want to get laid...........until they meet the woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with..........and you know what, he's 100% right.......all the men, whether 18, 30, 50 or 70, they just want to hop in the sack.............been there done that....................not for me and certainly not in this day and age where there's Aids.........no thank you.

Maybe I will meet someone, maybe not..........but either way, my life still goes on..............and so will yours...........

Hi there 

I met my current boyfriend on line dating.  He's a guy of really good character, very attractive, healthy and fit, and we get along really well.  He is a finance professional.  We've been together almost two years and are now considering becoming more serious in our relationship.  Our paths would never have crossed without online dating. 

  

Before meeting him, I actually met many good and successful men through online dating.  I met two pediatricians, a college professor, and an airline repair worker.  I enjoyed all of those dates, even though they didn't build to anything. 

  

I think part of my success was due to the profile I posted, and my own confidence in taking a good read of people I meet.  I made it known in my profile that I was successful in my own life, and would not settle for anything less than a person of good character and with interests at least somewhat similar to mine.  I did not post a photo.  I did not pursue lengthy e-mail discussions with anyone who did not fit my criteria, and if I was interested in meeting a person, I did this quickly so I could gauge the possibilities right away.  Finally, whenever I did meet someone, we would meet for breakfast somewhere.  Breakfast is pretty non-threatening, and avoids the possible casual sex scenario that goes along with online dating.  And if you really enjoy someone, you have the rest of the day together.  I met my current boyfriend mid-morning and we stayed at the restaurant drinking coffee until 3 p.m.!!! 

  

Good luck with your dating!  Just be prepared to have to spend a lot of time shopping - it's a lot of work. 

I'm 45 and have been single nearly a year, and I've met 35 guys - NICE guys - through online dating. The advice I'd give is this: use their profile to screen them initially. Does he bash his ex? Say things like "If you're a gold digger, move on!" or "finally ready to trust again," pass him by! I also pass on guys who have too many head shots of themselves, or who have NO photos. Misspelled words and bad grammar are the kiss of death for me, too (I want a well-educated, good communicator). Once you contact someone, ask the questions that are important to you. I typically ask what someone is looking for in a relationship. If their answers don't sit well with you, for whatever reason, pass 'em by! Meet in person as soon as you can. Why waste a lot of time emailing back and forth? Once you've screened someone through their profile and a few emails, get together for coffee for 1/2 hour or so to see if you click face-to-face. Be sure you tell someone where you're going, and by all means, make sure it's a public place. Finally, in all your communications, have your radar finely tuned, and trust it! Good luck!

I just read his book & it will tell you all you need to know to get started and get into a healthy relationship as well as help you see what you did wrong with the previous one. He is RIGHT ON THE MONEY! I am in a similar situation as you & it told me everything I need to know & then some!! I am thrilled to have this inside info!!