Replies to '06/30 Addicts Transformed'

Quote From: simp022004

Well I am 28 years old mother of 3 girls. I have been fighting addiction for years. This last year or two has been terrible. I was shooting 4 80 mg oxyicontin, into my arms, everyday, chasing it with coke( it was mt drugged out thinking that that would balance out and not kill me) Last thanksgiving I came clean after years of hidding it. I showed my dad my arm, fillied with track marks and told him I needed help. I thought he would be shocked. But he wasent. My mother was also a pill popper. She killed herself on Oxiycontin. The very drug that I was addicted to. He was hurt. My friend all said that they had all known for some time. Why did they not tell me? The next few weeks were the worst of my life. Withdrawl almost killed me. I had no idea that stopping so suddenly could kill me. I really thought that I was gonna die. I sometimes wounder why God did not take me. I stayed clean for about 8 months. Then this guy showed me Dalodin, I started shooting it. It almost had me until my oldest daughter saw me doing it. She a 7 year old was so scared. She had learned in school that this could kill people. That was the very last time I did it. It has only been a little over a month since then. I know statistics say I will fail, maybe I will. I hope that I can finally be free from this. I want to be able to have a good time with my girls & husband. I found out that I suffer from Bipolar Disorder. I looked up all the information I could find on it. It makes everything seem so clear now. I think that I was self medicating, to get through my manic times. But all that it ever did was send me into depression. I only mad things worse. Now I am following the docs orders taking my meds. I have never felt so good. I sleep like I did as a child. I am enjoying my kids. I finally have a job that I enjoy. Ihope I make it this time, my family is counting on it.