Replies to 'Balancing Marriage and Family'

Quote From: jettav

Remember, you treat people how to treat you. I would suggest that you stay away from your MIL and if your husbnad wants to go visit or whatever, that would be his choice but it does not mean that you have to go with him, And when you are around her and she says or does something that you do not approve of, then hold your tongue and walk away, do not gve in to the pressures of these people, certainly not worth it. I understand where you are coming from with some of this and forget what other people say and think, people tend to stick up for the underdog in these situations cause they either don't know the real issues/problems or they just don't want to confront them, whatever the case, stand your ground. My children do not come in much contact with family members and when they do, I am right there with them, no way on this green earth would I leave my children alone with them. You can only do so much to help people and until they come to the point of seeing things as they truly are and seek help, nothing you say or do will please them, believe me, I have been there. My bio mother told a bunch of lies about me as a teenager and to this day she thinks they are all true, some people lie so much they actually believe themselves. I think the problem is that she was abused and in a couple of bad marriages and to actually see people happy and successful just doesn't seem possisble to these people so they do what they can to make it all appear that those doing well, really isn't. Just be yourself and support your husband in his choices, just because you support him does not mean thta you have to agree with him, be there for him, afterall it is his mother. pray for him and don't talk down to him, he has had enough people in his life to do this crap, let him know daily on how you feel about him and let him know that you are on your side and that you are going no where, but at the sane time, you need to protect yourself and your children for this is abuse and they will reap some consequences from it. As they grow older, you will be able to explain things a little better to them but they must be your first priority here. it isn't easy being in these situations but you don't have to be in the middle of it all, love and respect your husband as I think he is trying to make things better, but at the same time, do not participate in the bad mouthing and all the negatives things going on and when you see something positive, compliment it but basically stay out of the mess as much as possible.