Which issue? Gossip of some of his now ex-wife's distant relatives opened up a can of worms and my husband got caught up in a witch-hunt for child sexual abusers several years before we met. One of the real perps will stay in prison for many years to come; the other perp pled guilty and then split to another state for a few years before coming back with mama's money and an attorney who got him off on a legal technicality. My husband's court appointed attorney didn't bother much with the case because, as he told me when I looked him up and asked him what happened,my husband 'hadn't done anything wrong or illegal so there wasn't any point in putting much of his time and resources into a non-paying case'. The people who were supposed to investigate were more interested in dirt and feeling like heros than they were concerned with finding out the truth, so my husband ended up pleading "No Contest" to "lewd conduct" and took 5 years of probation and classes etc. because he was not going to say he'd done something he hadn't done, and he didn't want to drag the kids through more abuse by the people who were supposed to help them all. It's gotten worse, not better.
I have a friend who was sexually abused by her father in the same area around the same time, and she told me that dealing with the investigators and social workers was worse than the abuse itself, because when she told them what had happened, they demanded that there MUST be more to it and if she didn't tell them EVERYTHING, they were going to take HER away to a "facility". A few years later, her younger sister falsely accused their father so she could get some attention. What a stinkin' mess!
My brother has a friend whose 16 year old daughter (around the same time and place) falsely reported "Daddy touched me" because he had told her if she didn't get rid of her druggy friends he was gonna do it for her. He'd be in prison if his mom and sister hadn't found the $ to get an attorney who got the man's trucking logs into court proving he could not have been where the daughter said he'd abused her. That family is still in ruins, too.
While serving on my church's prayer chain, we got a request to pray for a college-aged son whose younger cousin falsely accused him of sexual abuse because he WOULDN'T get sexually involved with her. The young man did not have to go to prison, but there was an enormous amount of damage done to him and their families that can't(?) be undone.
My father has been a gossip and spread lies about my mother and all three of the children she bore him (and anybody else as it suits his moods) for as long as my siblings and I can remember. He assumes facts not in evidence and refuses to look at evidence and/or gives it a cursory glance and twists it up and spreads his garbage to anyone who'll listen. He will say anything to any one, without regard to anything but getting what he wants which is to divide and conquer ; look like a hero; and be the boss without any responsibility or accountability. He can be quite charming, and most folks who don't know the whole history, seem to really like him. If he says something nice about one of us kids, it's always followed by another slam. And he's forever putting nasty sexual spins on so much. I finally petitioned the court for a restraining order, which the judge granted even though my dad lied to the judge, too. He has also broken the stay-away-order at least three times and continues his working on tearing my kids and I apart (my bro and sis never had kids), including calling in false reports to child protective services. I'm done trying to have an honest, healthy relationship with him. I'm sorry he's so miserable. He's caused schisms all throughout or families, and he's still gettin'g away with it. Mega uncorrectable damage. What's an ethical person to do? What CAN we do?
