Message Boards
Replies to '10/31 "Spoiled and Entitled?"'
|
November 1, 2005, 5:53 pm PST
 Quote From: nrsejenn I somewhat agree...however....as a parent, you don't want your child to hurt or be embarrassed or feel less than, not even for a minute. I am out of school for twelve years now, and that is just high school. So, lets go back to when I was in grade school. Hmmh....that is about twenty-one years, and that would be taking me back to fifth grade. Don't you remember how tough kids were even then? Were you never picked on? Even for the most ridiculous things? I distinctly remember being picked on, at my bus stop in the morning, because it was raining out, and my mother had me wearing a pair of what we used to call "ducks," which were a short rain boot. The girl at my bus stop was unstoppable. Even though my parents instilled excellent values and self confidence in me, it still bothered me. Even though I was already aware of my own self worth. It still affected me!! I would like to try to prevent my children from feeling that. I understand that there will always be the "meanies", and there will always be those children that will pick on others. However, if as a parent we can both, teach and instill the values of self worth and confidence, yet also, help them to blend into their "society", I say, by all means lets do so!!!!! I remember being tormented while in school because I was overweight, and not in the right clique. The kids made my life miserable for such a long time and other than being something I couldn't be... thin, pretty and popular... there wasn't much else to do but endure. Parents want what's best for their kids. I'll be having a child in Dec and I've already decided that if he has as much hassle from his classmates, we'll do something proactive about it. Talk to the schools, make sure he has self-defense classes, even change schools if necessary. But buying him the latest name brand item or toy isn't a solution. I think teaching your child self-confidence and the meaning of working for their stuff more important than making sure peer pressure isn't too strong. Don't make it crutch for parents to use to excuse their lack of parenting skills.
|
|
|
November 2, 2005, 8:45 am PST
Quote From: nrsejenn I somewhat agree...however....as a parent, you don't want your child to hurt or be embarrassed or feel less than, not even for a minute. I am out of school for twelve years now, and that is just high school. So, lets go back to when I was in grade school. Hmmh....that is about twenty-one years, and that would be taking me back to fifth grade. Don't you remember how tough kids were even then? Were you never picked on? Even for the most ridiculous things? I distinctly remember being picked on, at my bus stop in the morning, because it was raining out, and my mother had me wearing a pair of what we used to call "ducks," which were a short rain boot. The girl at my bus stop was unstoppable. Even though my parents instilled excellent values and self confidence in me, it still bothered me. Even though I was already aware of my own self worth. It still affected me!! I would like to try to prevent my children from feeling that. I understand that there will always be the "meanies", and there will always be those children that will pick on others. However, if as a parent we can both, teach and instill the values of self worth and confidence, yet also, help them to blend into their "society", I say, by all means lets do so!!!!! Were you never picked on?
Oh yes! I was a middle child in a large working class family. I always had to wear hand-me-downs and I had siblings in the 2 grades immediately ahead of me, so the fact that I was wearing their old clothes was very apparent. I had to work babysitting and cleaning yards to buy a second hand bicycle that was not "cool" at all and caused some teasing. But it worked fine and I was as fast as the wind on it.
I don't think I was scarred or damaged by that teasing. I learned at a very young age that the people who did that were people I didn't want to socialize with and I learned that my friends didn't give a rat's patoot about my clothes or bike because they liked ME. I can still feel that little sun of pride and love glowing in my chest when I recall my best friends defending me. I hope my children get an opportunity to feel that!
My children are much better off financially than I was (we don't even have a second daughter or son to hand things down to). I am certain that they are not teased because of material wealth issues. In spite of having nice clothes and things, my daughter was ostracized for a while a few years back. I don't really know the reason, but she came home crying a few times.
I understand the feelings that parents get. The momma bear in me was in pain for her. I hated it. I even talked to my husband about hosting a big ski trip for her class (we really are wealthy) and leaving the bullies out. That would have made me feel soooo much better. Luckily, my husband is much smarter than me and he asked me what lesson that would teach our daughter. That she needs to buy friends? That ostracizing someone (the bullies) is ok?
We let her know we loved her and would listen to anything she wanted to talk about. We offered to talk to the teacher. But she handled it on her own and is one of the most popular children again. In fact the nastiest bully girl from grade 5 is now one of her friends. |
|
Return to the Message Board
