Replies to 'Competitive Family Relationships'

I was speaking tto my stepson today.  He feels that my husband and I must feel the same way about his mother as she feels about us because anyone would.  He says everyone wishes someone would disappear once in a while.  

His mother has a habbit of telling the children what my husband and I think and feel.  She told them once, "Your stepmom is mean to me and I would hate anyone that is mean to my mom."  She tells them I'm rude to her and my husband says mean things to her.  We haven't spoken to her (besides in therapy) in 3 years.  Also, she reads bits and pieces of court documents and emails in order to give the children the illusion that we are saying hateful things to her.  Of course she pulls them out of content and fails to mention what we are replying to. 

With this in mind, if we try to say something it would just be our word against our word that mom told them and mom's word.  Make sense? :(  We just ignore it as much as possible and hope that the children will realize what she is doing as they get older.