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Replies to 'Giving and Receiving Support'
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November 3, 2005, 2:33 pm PST
 Quote From: kimmie1 Hi Heather, I just lost my mom 2 months ago so does it get better i dont know the answer to that but I say to be srong because i know it hurts. I also was thinking maybe you can help me with something how long was before your mom starting dating again? Because since my mom death my dad started to things he didnt usually do. And startinting to recieve more privte phone calls than usually . Im sort of upset about the whole thing because i remember him holding my mom hand when she died and telling her that he would never marry again and there is no woman that can take her place and then now he out dating.( I know he said he wouldnt marry and nothing about dating) but i am very upset about this and I know that it may because he miss my mom and he is lonely but i probably could and would accept it better if my mom grave wasnt still fresh while all this is taking place. so I say that to say this would i be out of place if i mention my feelings toward this to him? keep in mind I am a very mature married 23 years old and know how address him in very respectful manner. or should i leave it alone and let him grieve in his own way? kimmie1 Hey Kimmie,
You asked the right person for advice on this. First off thanks for writing me back I appreciate any advice I can get. When my dad passed away my mom said a lot of the same things your father said. I wont marry again and no one can take my dads place. And you know what she wasnt lying. No one can ever take my dads place and both her and I know this. My mom started dating about a year after my dad died. But you know what, I think everyone deals with death in a different way. Perhaps your dad just needs that compainionship and support and this is how he is going about getting it. I had a huge problem with my mom dating again. My dad has been gone for four years and I had a hard time with her marrying again. I really had to convince myself that it was very selfish of me to deny her of that, she is a wonderful woman who deserves to be happy and have that compainionship. I think you are having a hard time because you miss your mom so much and that is the same exact way that I felt. I personally think that you should confront you dad on your feelings. I am 24 and married and my family has always had a very open relationship, i confronted my mom about my thoughts on her dating and she is the one who was there to comfort me it never hurts to be open about your feelings if you do it in a respectful way and remember he is hurting too. I just want you to know that I have gone through exactly what you are going through now. I would love to help you as much as i can because it is a long process as you can tell its something that i still deal with everyday. If you want you can email me at hmizzou@yahoo.com, maybe we can be a support system for each other. Heather |
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