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November 3, 2005, 6:56 am PST
Not exactly...
Quote From: mrs_affairOh, believe me, I remember that well. But, honestly, I don't know what needs to happen to end it once and for all. Quit talking to him altogether? I wish I could. What do I do with all these feelings for him? I think about him all the time. Whenever he calls I jump for the phone! I feel so weak when it comes to him! You are so right...he get to call all the shots and I hate that! Have you been in a situation like this? I cheated on a boyfriend, well, actually we were married for all intents and purposes because we had lived together for 4 years. I did it because he cheated on me and it was revenge. It was stupid, I hated myself, and then the creep I did it with kept calling. But I was cheated on by my first husband, repeatedly. By that time, I had an active hatred for myself and figured I deserved everything I got. So, that's exactly what my reality became. The absolute worst thing infidelity and cheating does is to destroy your image of yourself. It's taken me years to forgive myself for it and other things that I've done through low self esteem and bad decisions.
I've heard it said that temptation is a divine test. It doesn't have to be just temptation for another person, it could be any number of things. I'm not a religious person, but I am very spiritual, and I believe this with all my heart. I'm proud and happy to say that I have conquered temptations since getting my life and my self esteem back. I now love myself too much to succumb to the predatory actions of others, and the temptations that I know are self-destroying.
Yes, in order to end this you have to cut off all contact. And, another thing to consider is the betrayal of your husband and children. (I think you mentioned a family right?) Do they deserve this? Should you be considering divorce since you can't control your impulses? At least do the honorable thing by them if you can't do the honorable thing for yourself.
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