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November 3, 2005, 10:18 am PST
11/03 Extreme Food Obsessions
Quote From: lorilynnHi i'm only 17, and i understand where Nichelle is coming from, i'm a babysitter of a child who is autistic, and another child who has anger management and a few kids who are A.D.D or A.D.H.D, and it's hard to even watch them for a couple of hours let alone 24/7. Eventually i want to have kids myself, but first i am going to make sure i can take care of them, and make sure i raise them to be polite, and good children, i understand that it's not your fault Nichelle, that your children act the way they do, some kids get it from their friends, or other adults, but I do have an idea, that i have done with the children in the past which i got from Nanny 911, and that is to make a chart, and every time your child(ren) listen to you and do what you ask, then you give them a sticker and make a goal that your child will understand he or she will have to reach, example at the end of the week maybe you want your child to have 10 stickers, and if your child has 10 or more stickers, you can give them a chocolate bar, or candy even a little toy possibly from the dollar store, children at a younger age like yours will probably be happy with anything, and you should tell your child you are very happy with their habits, and listening during the week! Kids will feel happy if you tell them you are very happy with them! Not to start off on a negative note but I have to disagree that it's not Nichelle's fault as to how her children treat her. Yes, some children do have disablilities that cause them to behave in a fashion that is hard to manage. And if that be the case I feel that the parents should seriously look into other alternatives (such as counseling, advice from medical experts that work in that particular area of the child's disability..etc..etc) that can support and teach the parents how to cope with the behaviors that their children are engaging in and learn to be firm in their dicipline. Being a parent automatically give us a responsibility to teach our children how to behave regardless of how their friends or other surrounding adults choose to act. They need to learn how to take upon themselves the responsibility of their actions instead of it being okay to blame others for their misconduct. Like Dr.Phil has stated many times, "We teach people how to treat us." And I feel that applies to our relationships with our children. It is a good idea to make things fun for children but I feel that there are just sometimes our children need to know and understand that they have no choice but to listen and to behave in a well-mannered fashion (even when there is no candy bar or dollar store reward). If we get in the habit of materialisticly rewarding our children for every single good choice they make they will then become dependent on it and think that that is what should happen for the rest of their lives (so-to-speak). I do award my child, sometimes, with a toy or snack when he has behaved or done good in school. Aside from the occasional toy or snacks I use words of praise to reinforce his good behavior. Children or like walking sponges who take everything in we as parents, grandparents, teachers, friends, family do. If we don't model to our children certain acceptable behaviors than how are we ever to expect them to behave and to be respectful.
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