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November 5, 2005, 11:41 am PST
Intentionally thinking...
Quote From: storyofmyl Everything you wrote made sense to me. It has me thinking about alot of things that I have intentionally block out of my head.(it always comes back ..) I think once I can stop making excuses and really let myself feel . It hurts when I think about the lost of "life" that I've had. Talking about how I feel has helped me to want to pick myself up,out of a "pool of myself". I'm only looking forward to good things and I will take all you said and see how I can apply it to my needs.I know it won't be a "quick fix".After living with fear for so long,I don't know how to live without it. I'M READY TO LEARN!! Thank You so much for caring about me.Bless You,Hope to talk to you soon,Tannie I just had a long talk with my sister who has persistent thoughts that trouble her. It just amazes me how we give ourselves permission to believe the thoughts that are in our head. Not all of them are true and many of them just repeat our fears back to us until we think they are real.
One of the things my sister and I figured out is that happiness is unconditional! Meaning, you can NEVER tell yourself, "I'll be happy if...". You simply just deserve happiness and there are no ifs ands or buts about it. The minute you say, "I'll be happy if..., I'll be safe if..., I'll be able to do this if..." you give life the ammunition to take happiness, safety or ability from you. You have to confront yourself and say "I'm going to be happy EVEN if...I'm going to be fine, safe, able, etc!" I JUST AM! Even if the worst happens I will go on.
It makes me feel good just saying it.
Anyway, I hope things are going well for you. Do keep in touch - Laura
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