Replies to '03/29 Next Generation of Moochers'

Let me get this straight. You have a daughter who has a mental illness, which you don't seem to know what it is since you didn't mention it, and you moved out of the house because of the way she lives her life. WOW! What a self-centered uncaring person you are. If your daughter does have a mental illness it's like any other illness and she needs your support as a mother. 

Your daughter coming back to live with you because she has a mental illness does not make her a moocher, it means she's looking for help, support, and guidance. Now, I'm not saying her being untidy is acceptable, this is probably something that needs to be addressed but, for a mother to leave her daughter when she is ill, I really don't know what to say.... 

James   

We all want, wish and strive for our kids to be healthy and have a good and solid future. 

You say that your daughter dropped out of College, and at about the same time, you who "can't stand how she lives", dropped out of her life and moved out, what are great example you are. 

Your husband completely supports his daughter as he is the only one there for her, he might not be going about things the right way but he is doing the best he can and perhaps the only way he knows how, he does not wish do give up on them. Could you not have gone to your daughters doctor to see what is wrong with her and together with your husband get advice on how to manage and overcome these 'issues'?   You could have and still can ask for guidance and help from a family counseling organisation, so that BOTH you and your husband  are aware of how to go about in steering your family in the right direction. 

I greatly admire your husband for sticking in there,  hopefully you will not just observe what is going on with your family from the 'sidelines' . 

How many single mothers struggle, with little or no support to raise their kids, how many people have kids that are handicapped/disabled who also go through many obstacles to provide a secure and safe environment,  imagine if they all threw in the towel and gave up on their kids the way you did........................ 

I am not trying to be harsh, but a mothers love and support is hard to replace, a mother never gives up on her children.  Wake up and get involved!! 

Even more so than some physical illnesses, because it is "hidden".  There are no blood tests for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and clinical depression.  I thought I was "lazy" when I could not keep up the housework and was exhausted after work.   

Please, just because you're lucky enough NOT to experience these diseases, don't disparage those who suffer from them.  Suicide often seems the only way out as a way of escaping years of side effects from endless medications, time lost from work and constant depression. 

Let me get this straight. You have a daughter who has a mental illness, which you don't seem to know what it is since you didn't mention it, and you moved out of the house because of the way she lives her life. WOW! What a self-centered uncaring person you are. If your daughter does have a mental illness it's like any other illness and she needs your support as a mother.  

Your daughter coming back to live with you because she has a mental illness does not make her a moocher, it means she's looking for help, support, and guidance. Now, I'm not saying her being untidy is acceptable, this is probably something that needs to be addressed but, for a mother to leave her daughter when she is ill, I really don't know what to say....  

James    

Quote From: jen0203 

 I have to say I disagree with James on this I dont think just because your daughter has a mental illness that gives her the right to take over your house. Having a mental illness is not an excuse to drop out of college and decide that she isnt going to do anything but have your husband wait on her. I would tell her to get a job and get out!! 

This one's kinda touchy, so it's hard to take an affirmative stance here.   

If you don't know whether your daugher (or your 21 year old that you mentioned) has undisputed mental illnesses or arbitrary mental "issues" then you need to get them into counseling and get a formal diagnosis.  If you want to help them so badly, then break out the phone book and start calling around THE MOMENT you see this response.  They need individual counseling, and you all as a family need family counseling to learn how to cope with this because running away from the problem by moving out is not the answer (nor is your husband enabling your 24 year old the answer either--I understand why he does it--he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, provoking a reaction from her, but I think Dr. Phil mentioned at one time that doing so is selfish--he cares more about his own emotions than his daughter's well-being).