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Replies to 'Abuse'
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August 3, 2005, 9:29 am PDT
 Quote From: lsforls I'm feeling lots better now!!! My younger daughter - S - just got back from the dentist & he was able to pull the teeth part way back to their original position. Good news - no fractures, the teeth WOULD HAVE been knocked out but the braces stopped that from happening. Bad news - we need to watch these teeth for the rest of her life - could need root canal on 3 of the teeth someday, the roots could begin to desolve!, or her teeth could turn black & need to be pulled. BUT these things may never happen. It's in God's hands now how well her body can heal. She is young & healthy - the trauma could have been worse.
A has moved out. I told her that she needed to leave by the end of the day. She actually went back to the marital house "temporarily". The soon-to-be-X seems to be on HER side in this. I guess she has manipulated the situation to her advantage once again! She is a master at that! Little G is HOME!!!!!!! I keep telling myself that it's better for him that he's at his own house. My house is a nice place to visit but it was never his home. I got the key to the house back too so there will be no surprise visits.
No charges were filed - not S's style (revenge). I DID tell A that things could have been SO much worse & that she could have been arrested! Nothing like a police record for violence to dampen the chances of custody!!!!!!!!!! She's SO lucky!
A is "angry"!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelieveable! SHE is angry! Just like the father - always placing blame on others!!! It was S's fault - she was asking for it for months!!!!!!!!! Sound familiar anyone??!!!
Bottom line - she is gone from my home now & S & I have peace once again. Hard when it's your own child that is becoming the new abuser in the family!!!!!! INCREDIBALLY HARD! She makes her own bed - just like her father did! Hope she heals before she's 57 like her father! And even HE still doesn't "get it"!!!
I know I did the right thing. Thanks for all your support!!! God Bless - LS >.< When you set the right boundary and deal with toxic folks in healthy ways, you end up KNOWING you did the right thing.
I am not surprised one bit that your eldest is angry -- her sense of self-entitlement is LARGE.
Trust that she may learn her lessons -- or not.
But the key here is... that YOU'VE learned YOURS.
The best thing for manipulative/abusive people is for YOU to set YOUR boundaries and protect them.
You did that. I'm proud of you! But I know it is not what you want for your child or your grandchild.
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August 2, 2006, 11:23 pm PDT
Quote From: lsforls I'm feeling lots better now!!! My younger daughter - S - just got back from the dentist & he was able to pull the teeth part way back to their original position. Good news - no fractures, the teeth WOULD HAVE been knocked out but the braces stopped that from happening. Bad news - we need to watch these teeth for the rest of her life - could need root canal on 3 of the teeth someday, the roots could begin to desolve!, or her teeth could turn black & need to be pulled. BUT these things may never happen. It's in God's hands now how well her body can heal. She is young & healthy - the trauma could have been worse.
A has moved out. I told her that she needed to leave by the end of the day. She actually went back to the marital house "temporarily". The soon-to-be-X seems to be on HER side in this. I guess she has manipulated the situation to her advantage once again! She is a master at that! Little G is HOME!!!!!!! I keep telling myself that it's better for him that he's at his own house. My house is a nice place to visit but it was never his home. I got the key to the house back too so there will be no surprise visits.
No charges were filed - not S's style (revenge). I DID tell A that things could have been SO much worse & that she could have been arrested! Nothing like a police record for violence to dampen the chances of custody!!!!!!!!!! She's SO lucky!
A is "angry"!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelieveable! SHE is angry! Just like the father - always placing blame on others!!! It was S's fault - she was asking for it for months!!!!!!!!! Sound familiar anyone??!!!
Bottom line - she is gone from my home now & S & I have peace once again. Hard when it's your own child that is becoming the new abuser in the family!!!!!! INCREDIBALLY HARD! She makes her own bed - just like her father did! Hope she heals before she's 57 like her father! And even HE still doesn't "get it"!!!
I know I did the right thing. Thanks for all your support!!! God Bless - LS >.< im not sure if you would stil be needing this but i hope your daughter has had a therapy now.
i know how it feels to be a victim and to be the abuser. I know how it is to be eaten up by negative emotions especially bitterness, hatred and above all, believe lies from the past.
hope far from protecting your other daughters, you would be able to reconcile with her what bothers her. not everyone is strong. |
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August 3, 2006, 7:55 am PDT
Quote From: lsforls I'm feeling lots better now!!! My younger daughter - S - just got back from the dentist & he was able to pull the teeth part way back to their original position. Good news - no fractures, the teeth WOULD HAVE been knocked out but the braces stopped that from happening. Bad news - we need to watch these teeth for the rest of her life - could need root canal on 3 of the teeth someday, the roots could begin to desolve!, or her teeth could turn black & need to be pulled. BUT these things may never happen. It's in God's hands now how well her body can heal. She is young & healthy - the trauma could have been worse.
A has moved out. I told her that she needed to leave by the end of the day. She actually went back to the marital house "temporarily". The soon-to-be-X seems to be on HER side in this. I guess she has manipulated the situation to her advantage once again! She is a master at that! Little G is HOME!!!!!!! I keep telling myself that it's better for him that he's at his own house. My house is a nice place to visit but it was never his home. I got the key to the house back too so there will be no surprise visits.
No charges were filed - not S's style (revenge). I DID tell A that things could have been SO much worse & that she could have been arrested! Nothing like a police record for violence to dampen the chances of custody!!!!!!!!!! She's SO lucky!
A is "angry"!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelieveable! SHE is angry! Just like the father - always placing blame on others!!! It was S's fault - she was asking for it for months!!!!!!!!! Sound familiar anyone??!!!
Bottom line - she is gone from my home now & S & I have peace once again. Hard when it's your own child that is becoming the new abuser in the family!!!!!! INCREDIBALLY HARD! She makes her own bed - just like her father did! Hope she heals before she's 57 like her father! And even HE still doesn't "get it"!!!
I know I did the right thing. Thanks for all your support!!! God Bless - LS >.< You did the right thing in telling A that she needed to get out. My oldest daughter was just like A. She would fight witht the youngest daughter J and then when I would scold her over it, she would argue with me saying that I favored J more than her. She is 30 now and she still accuses me of loving J more. Unbeleivable!!!!
You daughter needs to see the violent life she leads. Your grandson is not safe! She will never be able to have relationships until she gets her anger under control. I doubt her husband took her back because he loves her. I actually am thinking it is to gain control over their son. A judge looks ill upon a woman that leaves and goes back.
I wish her luck, but I don't think she will get far until she goes for counceling. That would also be a path in the right direction for custody of her son at this point, because her husband will tell all about this if and when it comes down to custody. |
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