Replies to '08/17 Dr. Phil's Road Show: Newlywed Challenge'

I haven't seen today's show yet but your post REALLY caught my attention.  My family, I guess, is pretty old fashioned because everyone seems to be happily married or at least they were before their spouse died.  Not that there's not a few who have married twice for lack of getting it right the first time, but still happiness seems to prevail. 

I'm not feeling so hopeful for myself, however.  I've been with my boyfriend (the father of my 17 month old son) for over 5 years & just the THOUGHT of marriage is enough to rumble my stomach.  His side of the family has seen worse times than mine so I honestly don't know if the man even knows LOVE.  He comes from a much different world than I do so it's hard for us to find a happy medium.  He bottles up his feelings, I pour mine out like a book.  He sort of looks at marriage as a "loss of freedom".  I look at it as...  ???  I guess it can be perfect if you make it so or it can be a rough ride for some. 

Anyway, my family believes we should be married.  They have accepted the fact that our son was conceived out of wedlock but they firmly express that we should not even THINK about extending our little family before we take the vows.  As part of the younger generation I believe in my own way that God had this in the cards for us or we'd not be where we're standing today.  I don't believe he insists on a ring & a piece of paper to prove our worthiness of love although I know it is still a very sacred milestone in life.  Part of me wants the fairy tale wedding but then part of me believes it's just not as big of a deal these days. 

I want to know what the rest of the world thinks.  Should my boyfriend & I get married for the sake of the family or is it okay to live as though we are married without taking the vows at the altar??? 

I haven't seen today's show yet but your post REALLY caught my attention.  My family, I guess, is pretty old fashioned because everyone seems to be happily married or at least they were before their spouse died.  Not that there's not a few who have married twice for lack of getting it right the first time, but still happiness seems to prevail. 

I'm not feeling so hopeful for myself, however.  I've been with my boyfriend (the father of my 17 month old son) for over 5 years & just the THOUGHT of marriage is enough to rumble my stomach.  His side of the family has seen worse times than mine so I honestly don't know if the man even knows LOVE.  He comes from a much different world than I do so it's hard for us to find a happy medium.  He bottles up his feelings, I pour mine out like a book.  He sort of looks at marriage as a "loss of freedom".  I look at it as...  ???  I guess it can be perfect if you make it so or it can be a rough ride for some. 

Anyway, my family believes we should be married.  They have accepted the fact that our son was conceived out of wedlock but they firmly express that we should not even THINK about extending our little family before we take the vows.  As part of the younger generation I believe in my own way that God had this in the cards for us or we'd not be where we're standing today.  I don't believe he insists on a ring & a piece of paper to prove our worthiness of love although I know it is still a very sacred milestone in life.  Part of me wants the fairy tale wedding but then part of me believes it's just not as big of a deal these days. 

I want to know what the rest of the world thinks.  Should my boyfriend & I get married for the sake of the family or is it okay to live as though we are married without taking the vows at the altar???