Quote From: kleesun"I want to know what the rest of the world thinks. Should my boyfriend & I get married for the sake of the family or is it okay to live as though we are married without taking the vows at the altar??? "
And the difference would be . . . ?
I, personally, am not in favor of having kids/more kids outside of marriage, but my life is not yours and I know you don't want somebody preaching to you. Moral and religious arguments aside, be practical. If the relationship needs help, it will need help whether or not it is recognized by law and/or your church (really, I guess the big issue here for me would be, why would you have more kids before you two have the relationship stabilized?). From what you said, I wouldn't be inclined to get married at this point, but can you get him to talk to someone--counselor, clergy--to find out what it is that bothers him so much?
If all else fails you at least need to make sure that you and your child have some rights to support if you and your boyfriend don't last. Find out what your state laws are about common-law marriages. I hope you DO last, if that's what you want, but please take care of yourself and your baby.
Thanks for your post.
I guess we are pretty stable in our relationship but are just afraid of the finality of marriage. You know... It's a bunch of classes, blood tests, a piece of paper & a ceremony in front of everyone that we think can just wait a while. We know we love eachother & the baby knows mommy & daddy love him as well as eachother, that's why I get confused. I know in society it's right... I just think it's a bunch of extra things to have to worry about just to get there & we're busy with our son & with our new house & stuff. Does that make any sense???
