Quote From: tlheislerI left a marriage of almost 16 years in 2001. I got married at 19 to the first guy I ever dated. Needless to say, this did not go over well with my ex. He has and continues to make my life unhappy.
My oldest daughter, doesn't even want to have a relationship w/him. She is now 17. My now 13 year old son struggles w/to like him or not and I struggle when he is liking him. Which is not fair to my son at all.
I have a boyfriend that moved in about 3 years ago. My ex continues to leave nasty messages, calls me names, talks about me to all (and we live in a small town). He is unfriendly to my boyfriend who is great to our children and he is still in my business and wanting to know everything I am doing.
For example, he never takes the kids...he calls up and asks my son to go to the mall. WHY? Because he drove by, saw that we were doing something to our deck and that I had a new car and he wanted to know what was going on. So it cost him an XBOX game to find out from my son why we had wood in the yard and if I bought or leased my new vehicle.
He showed up at my daughter's football game (cheerleading, not playing!) on Friday after they have not spoken for several months, confronted her in front of her team on the track and said hi stranger...she told him to leave and she did not want to speak to him. He smelled of alcohol. He continues to say and do things that he has no recourse for.
He drove by my house one day and I was gone w/my boyfriend in his truck and we were gone for the entire day. He kept driving by and thought I was home alone so left a message stating how it must suck to sit home all day by myself while my boyfriend is out f**king someone else. And he is proud of doing these things.
He lost his job of 29 years recently for a racial comment at work. He calls me (and we don't speak) to let me know he can't pay child support. He also let the kids insurance go and I found out by a billing mistake that they had no insurance for 3 weeks until I added them to mine.
I am so sick of this...feel like there is no end in sight. Any advice?
Talk to your x and tell him that he can see his kids, but he cannot invade your privacy. Let him know the ground rules. Depending on how bad it is, you may consider getting a restraining order. The only thing he should be allowed to do is see his kids. The rest of what he is doing is an invasion of your privacy. Making it legal, as to when and how he can see his kids, may make him see that you mean business, and hopefully he will get on with his own life and stay out of yours. If you don't do this, you may end up losing the relationship that you are in right now. How long do you think your new boyfriend will put up with your x's behavior?
Good Luck
