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November 10, 2005, 5:21 pm PST
If you can't say yes then don't
Quote From: flower25After posting my own concerns about this issue, I came across your post, and I have to say, you are not alone. When reading what you had to say, it actually made me cry because it was my feelings exactly, and I was relieved to find that I wasn't the only one experiencing this. When you said, "I worry sometimes that because I have to wonder about how I feel, that it's not the right thing after all," I can completely relate, because I love my boyfriend and feel I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but have also had the scary "what if "thought come into my head. I too am experiencing anxiousness from constantly running the thought through my head. The scary thing is that all we really have to compare our feelings to is past relationships (which ended for one reason or another). I just want you to know you are not alone, and if you have received any more advice or opinions about this, I would greatly appreciate you posting what you have found. Staying in a relationship because it is safe is not fair to you or to them. If you can't say yes with all your heart then you need to let that person go. They are ready! You may never be ready! Is it fair to hold them back from what they want because you are afraid to let go? That is not to say for certain that they will leave you, but if you don't want them for life then what are you doing in a committed relationship to
begin with. The entire purpose of dating one significant person is to see if they are the one you will marry. This is not rocket science. You either want them for life or you don't. If you don't then you need to tell them that. It is wrong to keep them believing you want what they want. It is deceit! It is important to be honest.
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