Quote From: nikki_pvnWe all want, wish and strive for our kids to be healthy and have a good and solid future.
You say that your daughter dropped out of College, and at about the same time, you who "can't stand how she lives", dropped out of her life and moved out, what are great example you are.
Your husband completely supports his daughter as he is the only one there for her, he might not be going about things the right way but he is doing the best he can and perhaps the only way he knows how, he does not wish do give up on them. Could you not have gone to your daughters doctor to see what is wrong with her and together with your husband get advice on how to manage and overcome these 'issues'? You could have and still can ask for guidance and help from a family counseling organisation, so that BOTH you and your husband are aware of how to go about in steering your family in the right direction.
I greatly admire your husband for sticking in there, hopefully you will not just observe what is going on with your family from the 'sidelines' .
How many single mothers struggle, with little or no support to raise their kids, how many people have kids that are handicapped/disabled who also go through many obstacles to provide a secure and safe environment, imagine if they all threw in the towel and gave up on their kids the way you did........................
I am not trying to be harsh, but a mothers love and support is hard to replace, a mother never gives up on her children. Wake up and get involved!!
Giving up? Yes, she is a mother who has the courage to challenge old behaviours that are clearly not working and not settling for less than a medicore life for herself and daughter! She is doing what is right for her. My hat goes of to her! She has the courage to put herself first and allow her daughter to take responsibility of her own life.
Let's get something clear; she is an adult with mental issues. The daughter is an adult with "mental issues" not a mental disability or illness. My advice is to confront your daughter ( get whatever support you need for yourself- find a group of supportive women, a therapy group for yourself etc ), give her a date to move out and move back into your home!
As for the husband he is choosing to be a crutch and supporting the daughter to be co-dependent and not interdependent. I think you have love and being a doormat / martyar confused. Wake up and get involved is your advice. I disagree. The ball is not in her court but she has the choice to take her own power back!.
