Replies to 'Depression'

 Hello group,

I am so glad there are places like this for people to let go of their thoughts. I very new to all of this, and at 45yrs old and single I would not have imagined that I would need to express my feelings to total strangers. I am a professional in the helping field, and work with families very intesively, I am available to my families 24/7 which is part of the job. I've been in the field for 20+ years. And here I am alone, with no family, my immediate family is on reservations in various parts of the country, I am the only one in my family who is out in the "white world". I feel really alone because of my profession and also because of my culture. I am seeing a man but, he has many medical issues and I am sure, that he does'nt feel he can provide me with any kind of life. Yet he does'nt understand that just my time with him and how I feel being with him, and being in nature with him, is all I need. I have'nt really told him this either.  I am sooo tired of feeling alone and not feeling connected to anyone. If I go to my family, I connect to the old ways and my ancestors, which is fine, but, it's not all of this reality. If I connect with this "working america" I am isolated from my culture and my beliefs. Trying to bridge the gap between all worlds is soo hard and so lonely. Is it worth it? I want so desparately to find a mate who can share and appreciate both worlds with me. Is this a pipe dream? How do we get connected? I've been raised as a medicine person, and I feel connected to a tribe, but, it's not the same as feeling connected to that one special person. I am feeling very disheartened because I have'nt connected with that special person. Am I loosing sight?

Spirit Bless,

Monica