Quote From: cagle2My opinion is no.
The basis for the affair lies in the marriage not with her.
You'll relive those feelings all over again like the day you found out.
Your anger will be directed at her whether you want it to or not.
Then you'll compare yourself to her completely picking yourself apart.
You may try to convince yourself it was her fault depending how convincing she is.
It will bring up a whole new set of questions... etc. Remember an affair is about lies and deceit.
Typically your confrontation will not be wanted and it will never turn out the way you had anticipated. Confronting her would be self gratification and it doesn't change anything.
Love yourself enough to put yourself through that again.
It is only my opinion.
I'll pray for you
My husband of 24 years had 2 affairs and I found out 5 months ago. I learned every single detail of both affairs by discoving text messages and e-mails that went back to February. Believe me, its not the best situation to know everything that went on. Every minute of every day, there is something that "triggers" my memory of all that I read.
He has ended the affairs and we are in counseling now, but I have SO much to move on from, knowing EVERYTHING, that I just don't know if it is possible.
I did call one of the women right away, I guess to confirm what he was saying that he never was looking for a future with her, but who knows, if I hadn't found out, it would stilll be going on, and then there could have been a future. It didn't really help to talk to her as far as making me feel better, I would forget about that.
My worry with your husband is that it went on for 3 years, thats alot to get over for both of you, and its not up to him when its time to move on. It can and should take as long as you need. Go to counseling and read those self help books about surviving affairs.
At this point, my husband is trying really hard, but I just don't know if I can ever get past this and learn to love and trust him again, and without that, there is no marriage.
Good luck and keep reading these message boards, I think it helps so much to know you're not alone!!
