Replies to '03/29 Next Generation of Moochers'

No offense, but I wouldn't want to live with someone like that -- at least not yet.  It sounds like he still has a lot of growing up to do.  What if you moved in with him and you had to end up taking care of him the way his parents do?  Do his parents pay for everything?  Does he contribute to keeping up with the housework and does he pay rent?  Does he have a job?  I would say that he needs to move out on his own first and learn how to take care of himself so that he can learn how to take care of you and your child.  In fact, he can start a lot of that learning at home where he is now.  He can pay rent to his parents (even as low as $50/month) that would teach him responsibility and encourage him to learn how to budget.  He's at a place right now were he has the advantage of not paying an excessively high rent.  He doesn't pay for utilities or groceries, so he has a huge opportunity to save.  Pointing out all the benefits that can come about from saving can be very encouraging for someone.  He could do something simple where he takes $25/month and puts it in an envelope.  When I started saving, I took 10% of my paycheck (after taxes) and put that in a separate savings account.  When I had adjusted to the change in my budget, I increased that to 10% of my paycheck (before taxes).  When I had adjusted to the change in my budget from that, I increased it to 20% (before taxes).  Doing that, my boyfriend and I were able to save $5,000 in a year (and we have a very low income -- I'm a waitress and he works in retail).  Originally we estimated that we would be able to save only $3,000.  Having a plan and being responsible enough to follow through with it can make you feel really good about yourself.  The only problem then would be if your boyfriend doesn't want to move out of his parents house! 

Why are you still with him?  He's a 2d-generation loser.  Get yourself and your child out of there as fast as you can! 

If your boyfriend is doing this now, then he will do it later. Find someone else that is more together and motivated. If you move together he will then mooch off of you. Surely you want more for yourself.!? 

Yeah.  Therapy. 

No seriously.  He has pathological maturity issues.  Parts of his development stopped during childhood or adolescence.  In other words, you are going steady with a child.  It would be pedophilia if he weren't physically an adult.  If you want to tell him those exact words, be my guest. 

His parents may also have issues, too.  They may fear an empty nest or they may see their son as an extension of themselves, so much that they aren't willing to let go.   

Consider telling him "I love you, but I don't want to raise you.  We're already raising one child.  You need to be an adult, and our child needs a father more than an older brother.  I'll do what I can to help you get to that point, but you have to be willing to help yourself.  If you can't, then I'm afraid we can't be together."