Replies to '03/13 Infidelity Aftermath'

I've been married for a little over 9 years now. I'm a Military wife and we received orders to move so we sold the house and packed everything up and moved.  So I quit this great job that I loved and were I felt so appreciated so that I could go with my husband.  Well after a week of being at our new station my husband decides to tell me that he doesn't love me anymore and he doesn't know if he wants to stay married.  So here I am just hurt after being with this man for so long in a new place with no job and no friends.  Well a week later he was sleeping on the couch and I just had this feeling that I needed to check his cell phone.  So I go through it and at first I really didn't see anything until I checked the text messages.  I found messages from a girl we both knew at his last station stating that she loved him and couldn't wait to be with him.  So I woke him up and asked him and he admitted that he was in love with her and turned to her when I wouldn't talk to him about our problems.  So not knowing what else to do I call my mom and a few days later she came up and we drove back to her house with our 4 year old daughter.  So for about a month of listening to him tell me that he just wants a divorce so he can be happy, I start trying to move on.  I go back and ask for my old job back, then about a week later my old supervisor calls and offers it back to me so I accept.  I start looking for apartments and try to plan a future for my daughter and myself.  A few days later my husband calls and tells me that he is sorry and Love's me very much and wants me to come home.  It was the hardest decision that I have ever had to make in my life.  But, because I still loved him so much I gave up that job again and came home.  Well the first week was fine, then the next he started treating me the same.  He was distant again.  He left the next weekend to meet some of his friends in Dallas for the race, which I wasn't happy with but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to argue.  One of the friends that he met with was one of the most negative people that I ever met especially when it came to marriage.  He told my husband after I left the first time "forget about her, there are many more women in the world."  So when my husband came back I felt the same negativity from him.  A few days later he tells me that he doesn't think he could make this work because he still cares about this other girl too much to just let go.  From what he tells me is that they have never done anything more than a simple kiss the day that we left to come here.  So here I am alone again after giving up everything again to be with him.  I haven't even told anyone what I've been going through because I'm feel ashamed that I let him do this to me again.   

I've been married for a little over 9 years now. I'm a Military wife and we received orders to move so we sold the house and packed everything up and moved.  So I quit this great job that I loved and were I felt so appreciated so that I could go with my husband.  Well after a week of being at our new station my husband decides to tell me that he doesn't love me anymore and he doesn't know if he wants to stay married.  So here I am just hurt after being with this man for so long in a new place with no job and no friends.  Well a week later he was sleeping on the couch and I just had this feeling that I needed to check his cell phone.  So I go through it and at first I really didn't see anything until I checked the text messages.  I found messages from a girl we both knew at his last station stating that she loved him and couldn't wait to be with him.  So I woke him up and asked him and he admitted that he was in love with her and turned to her when I wouldn't talk to him about our problems.  So not knowing what else to do I call my mom and a few days later she came up and we drove back to her house with our 4 year old daughter.  So for about a month of listening to him tell me that he just wants a divorce so he can be happy, I start trying to move on.  I go back and ask for my old job back, then about a week later my old supervisor calls and offers it back to me so I accept.  I start looking for apartments and try to plan a future for my daughter and myself.  A few days later my husband calls and tells me that he is sorry and Love's me very much and wants me to come home.  It was the hardest decision that I have ever had to make in my life.  But, because I still loved him so much I gave up that job again and came home.  Well the first week was fine, then the next he started treating me the same.  He was distant again.  He left the next weekend to meet some of his friends in Dallas for the race, which I wasn't happy with but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to argue.  One of the friends that he met with was one of the most negative people that I ever met especially when it came to marriage.  He told my husband after I left the first time "forget about her, there are many more women in the world."  So when my husband came back I felt the same negativity from him.  A few days later he tells me that he doesn't think he could make this work because he still cares about this other girl too much to just let go.  From what he tells me is that they have never done anything more than a simple kiss the day that we left to come here.  So here I am alone again after giving up everything again to be with him.  I haven't even told anyone what I've been going through because I'm feel ashamed that I let him do this to me again.