Replies to '03/13 Infidelity Aftermath'

   I am so sorry for your pain.  I caught my husband having an affair with a woman he grew up with.  At the time, 4 years ago, we had a 13 month-old and a 3-year old.  We have stayed together, and he treats me very well, but I am realizing that this is a wound that will never heal.

  

If you are willing to turn a blind eye to what he is doing and doing to you, at least do this: 

  

First make a list, decide how much money you are going to need to start anew, and start saving money. DO NOT TOUCH THIS MONEY NO MATTER WHAT.  

  

SAVE SAVE SAVE!  

MONEY IS POWER! 

  

Once you have enough money to start over, make a decision: Stay or leave! 

  

If you decide to remain in the marriage, continue to save save save. The next time if anything comes up AND you want to leave you have the means. No excuses. 

  

Good Luck! 

I know exactly how you feel I had just given birth to my second child and on my way to a PTA meeting when my husband told me about his "mistake". The thing is though that I new the lady was making moves and he couldn't see it. We went to counseling and even spoke with the pastor and still it was like we were speaking another language. When he realized that he was going to lose us he was scared and realized the damage he had done. More importantly he wanted to fix the damage. Your husband has to be willing to fix what he has done and if he's not you are truly waisting your time and that affects your children. He has to be willing to do the work to earn your trust.  Find strength in your kids they will eventually see whats going on and it will play a huge role on their marriages.  5 years later and my husband still does things to reassure me of his love. We are friends as well as husband and wife.