Replies to '03/13 Infidelity Aftermath'

Now, don't let the word "God" put you off.  It's really a god of your own understanding.  I have been through what you're going through.   I too cheated on a wonderful man and he found out.  I had many encounters and was finally caught when I met a man out of town.  That's what it took to get my attention.  Sex was like a drug to me and I couldn't get enough; I felt powerful and in control which, of course, was an illusion.  I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict and had relapsed after 13 years when I found a new addiction.  I tried to get sober again after my first sexual encounter because the guilt was killing me; literally.  I just couldn't forgive myself and relapsed several times in succession.  Each time I acted out sexually with a new man, a stranger!  How crazy is that?!  Thank God I was caught because it changed my life in ways I never imagined!  I went to a treatment center at my husband's insistence and there I got some hope for my recovery.  In the meantime, my husband joined a 12 step group for family of those addicted.  With him working on himself and me working on myself and us being honest with each other, the wounds began to heal.  We make it a priority to help others and this helps us.  See, selfishness and self centeredness is what can and will kill me so I have to get out of myself at every opportunity.  In the beginning I did this because I had to and now I do it because I love it!  After 3 years of sobriety my husband asked me to renew our vows and we had a covenant wedding before our church and family!  He has truly forgiven me and now we spend our time trying to help others with our own experience!  Take heart, show your willingness to change, ask a Higher Power to help you and lead you in the direction you should go and trust the outcome to Him and I promise all will be well.