Replies to '03/13 Infidelity Aftermath'

Quote From: krysw2

My situation isn't infidelity....yet.  My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 yrs.  Shortly after marrying him I answered our home phone one day and it was a former girlfriend.  I thought it inappropriate and said so.  Then before long this woman and that woman was calling.  When confronted he said these were "friends" he's had for yrs and there was nothing going on between them.  I don't believe a word.  I have a problem with this since he never mentioned these "friends" prior to us getting married.   I feel he should have told me about them and let me decide if this was something I was willing to go along with or not.  He took my choice away.  I asked him to end these friendships; especially the friendships with the former girlfriends because I just felt they were inappropriate.  He argued there was nothing going on with them but eventually agreed to end them, but it wasn't long before I discovered he had NOT done that.  All he did was ask them not to call our home.  He began talking to them on his cell phone.  I began to notice he'd sit around the house with his cell phone on his hip on vibrate.  Then I noticed if it did ring he wouldn't attempt to answer it.  So to confirm my suspicions I began peeking in his emails.(His fault for using his name as his password)  And there I discovered I was right.  He WAS still communicating with these women.  In one email from one, who happened to be bi-sexual, she was talking about her new lover and he was inquiring about "joining them".  I was devasted.  And of course I confronted him.  He again vowed to end these friendships but he's still doing it.  The disrespect is incredible.  And he wonders why things are the way they are.  Why our sex life is like pouring cold syrup now.  I am constantly depressed and overreating.  And he is quick to express concern; asking what he can do.  He can stop being so damn deceptive.  That would be a start.  I am constantly wondering what does he get from these "friendships".  Why would he jeopardize our marriage for these "friendships"?  I'm so frustrated I don't know what to do.  He doesn't seem to realize that this fundamental disrespect affects everything else.  He just doesn't seem  to get that.  Sorry I don't mean to vent.