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November 12, 2005, 10:31 am PST
Getting Along With Your In-Laws
Quote From: utahinbcHi,
I have a question that may seem trivial compared to some of the other posts. Every Christmas my fiancee spend 15 days with his parents at their home. I was raised in a home that it is considered rude to impose oneself for that length of time. Of course, my relatives all lived close to one another. My fiance's parents live about 8 hours away in a cramped house with 8 people staying there. Then they invite friends over for drinking every night. They are from Slovakia, and often converse in Slovak. I feel left out. I wouldn't mind staying for even a week, but it gets so long. They try to get me to go skiing, which I am terrified of. Then we have to bring our german shepherd, and they have a german shepherd. I am so homesick, but I can't go home until my immigration papers are completed in CAnada. I am a USA citizen.
Am I being too sensitive? I value my alone time, and it's impossible to get a way to read a book without being "unsociable" Help! We live by the rule that we both have to be able to stand tall, wherever we stand. What that means is that we look for a common ground where neither one of you is giving away too much of yourself, so you both get to stand tall. For example, if 15 days is too much for you, maybe you could agree to 10 days? That way, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but BF also gets to do his duty and enjoy time with his family. When my DH's parents split up, each one said that s/he had always had to do what the other one wanted and never got to do their own thing. Funny they both said that lol. Anyway, that taught us a big lesson. We always make sure that we make our decisions together and we can both live with what we decide. Not just live with it, but live well with it (not dying inside but doing it anyway). I hope this helps, it's just what works for us.
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