Replies to '11/15 Dr. Phil and Robin's First Wives Club, Part 2'

I was in tears and doing alot of thinking while watching the show the last 2 days. I can relate to their stories. I've been with my husband for 13 years and married for 2 with 3 children. 2 months ago I found out he cheated with my daughters 19 yr old godsister, someone who is like a sister to me.I am 31 It hurt to know that she was younger not better looking but it bhurt my self asteem I've always felt ugly and unattractive, but when he cheated it made it worse i don't look in the mirror without wanting to throw something thru it. I asked him what i did for him to cheat, and all he said was it was nothing i did It just happened. But it " JUST HAPPENS " once but they kept the affair up until her mother caught them together and called and told me that she admitted to being with him.After the fact was when he admitted it after weeks of him denying he was cheating, because there were signs.I kinda blame myself for staying when I knew that he was cheating with this girl.As far as i know the affair is over. But I haven't been honest with him and I don't want to sound like a hypocrit. After I found out that he cheated, I did with someone I meet on the internet,  he only thinks that I kissed this man, when it went further unlike  him I ended the affair after the first time I slept with him. because I felt guilty not only did I cheat on my husband,  But my children as well.My husband has admitted to not feeling guilty or dishonest, he goes on like nothing happened, when I can't stop thinking about him touching her, and kissing her and being intimate with her. It is hard for me to let him touch me at times because all i see is him with her.I know I should be honest and come clean. But I can't, we all have our secrets and This is the first and last affair that I intend to have. but I'm afraid he will do it again. Is there any advice any one can give me so that I don't ruin something that I want to work so badly?I love him to death and I hate that I cheated on him.