Replies to 'Ending Toxic Friendships'

legalgirl, 

She is a TF because she is so draining.  I don't know if you should give up on her yet.  Sounds like she is stuck in a bad place.  2 years seems like a long time.  Have you ever suggested counseling to her?  You can always talk to her about what she is doing.  Maybe she doesn't realize she is dragging you down, with her despair or that the X is all she talks about.  Sounds like she is throwing herself one heck of a pity party.  I would let her know that you want the old her back, before all the divorce battle scars.  Doesn't sound like she feels good about herself.  You might try setting a boundary and you might have to keep reinforcing it, until she grasp it.  Invite her to go do something you know she likes to do and let her know nicely that you don't want to talk about the X because it's a get away from your troubles day.  Maybe, if you just break the cycle with her, she will have to give up the drama, heal and get on with her life.  Let her know the X is getting in the middle of your relationship, which you value.  Make a deal with her, tell her you wont bring up (what ever is bothering you) and she can't bring up the X.  If that doesn't work, you might let her know she is hanging on to him bitterly.  Maybe she needs to go yell at and smack the heck out of something that can take a beating, like a punching bag and she should call it the X.    Good Luck