Since this is your husband's family, it is HIS responsibility to get a backbone and tell them to back off or take a hike. Change the locks on your house (and do NOT give out a key, under ANY circumstances!), do NOT loan them your car, secure your garage so they do not have access at ANY time and then LAY DOWN THE LAW! Both you AND your husband need to inform them in person that at NO time are they to invite themselves over. They will call first and ask permission to visit, NOT to raid the refrigerator, use your phone or "hire" you to babysit. Any violation of these conditions will result in the immediate revocation of visitation privileges. Also, both you and your husband need marital counseling: him, to find out why he lets his family walk all over his authority; you, to find out why you have tolerated it for so long. Just my two cents' worth.
Becky is looking for a job. I think that if you hired her, it would be money well spent.
