Replies to '06/02 "My Annoying Family"'

diagnosed bi-polar.  She was voted loudest mouth in high school and always embarrassed ME until I realized, what the woman on the show said today as true -- she was really embarrassing herself all along.  I am no longer embarrassed when she behaves badly, I feel sorry for HER, not myself.  I am not her.  Dr. Phil made a good point saying that the sister is "painted with the sister's brushstrokes" but any confident person would not need to validate their self-worth or esteem by a relative's bad behavior.  If my sister gets too far out of hand, I simply walk away because I don't want to hear it.  She ALWAYS feels sorry for it and regrets it (unlike your guest) but at the end of the day, she does say, "this is just who I am and either you accept me or your don't."  I accept her.  If other people can't then that's their problem.  Believe me, it's been decades of me working through this to come to the conclusion that she is making a fool of herself, not a fool of me (even when I am the butt of the verbal abuse).  I will kindly ask her to shut it, but if it doesn't work, I let her rant and know in my heart that she is troubled.  Like your guest, I believe it is the same for my sister; it is an issue of low self-esteem and she does want to be the center of attention.  Any attention is good whether it's attention for being a good person or attention for being an obnoxious person.  God bless that woman and her sister.  The consequences are dire, really, when a person cannot adjust socially because I see my sister suffer for it (she cannot keep a job and is depressed often).  The change has to come from inside the person (like Dr. Phil said, the light bulb has to want to change) and until that time, I will be my sister's sister and biggest supporter because she often needs a soft place to land.