Replies to '11/22 "Yours, Mine & Ours"'

I am definately watching this show, got the VCR set to tape in case Hubby isn't around.... I've been married for 2 yrs, we have full custody of H's two teenage daughters... the oldest one is great, very supportive, follows the rules, very respectful.  The youngest one is causing major problems with my H and I.  We didn't talk for 3 days bc he went against something that I had done.  I told him he could look after EVERYTHING from now on... I don't expect my H to chose me over his kids, not by any means.  I expect him to support me as a co-parent when I lay down the rules for the kids, and he doesn't.  My rule is that the kids set the table and load/unload dishwasher every night - ONLY RULE... and instead he will set the table because it's easier than asking them to do it.  It makes me feel angry and worthless when I'm trying to teach the kids responsibility and self-accomplishment.  Why am I good enough for the kid to come to me for money for school/lunches, to help look for lost articles of clothing and do laundry, etc... yet I don't get any say when it comes to raising them?  The youngest has no consequences for her actions... bc she's daddy's baby and all she has to do is call him daddy or suck up to him and he melts like she's a new born. 

We don't have any children together and I don't know if we ever will.  I had fertility testing while we were in the "not talking" mode... and he didn't even call or email to ask how it went.   

I feel like saying to my step daughter & H.... I will leave so your daughter will be happy.  She wants us to split up...  she doesn't want you to love me... she makes me feel like I'm impeding on her relationship with her dad. 

I have been there and done that.  Twenty seven years have gone by.  We raised three of his, one of mine and one of ours, and now that they are all grown, I can't imagine a more close-knit family (sometimes too close), nor the joy of the grandchildren who accept me, the step-mom, as grandma.  We had our problems - big time, lots of them - but as my husband always said to me when I was ready to throw in the towel, "they are just kids,dear."  Of course my oldest step daughter wanted to keep her dad all to herself, she had been the female head of the house for a few years.  Of course the other kids wanted to be the center of attention, who else really cared but us.  Now that they are all grown, the oldest has a second time around relationship with a man with two kids blended with her three and is experiencing some of the challenges she put me through.  Now  I get my reward.  She understands the whole picture.  She tells me how much she appreciates the upbringing she had and only hopes she can offer the same to her children (step and natural).  Patience and loving kindness will win in the end...I found that out for sure.  If you truly love the man you're with, make arrangements for dates (even if it's a late night dinner at home) and weekends away.  It will be your saving grace during the reality of raising children...no matter who gave birth to them, and someday, you will feel genuine pride for giving that precious life a decent start.