Replies to '11/23 Schizophrenia'

I am interested to know what kind of medication you were taking that made you feel that way?  What was the Rx for?   

  

I am glad you figured this out and are well now. 

I am the one with schizophrenia on the show.  In response to your post, I got sick when i was 18.  I had my first full psychotic break then.  I was unmedicated for years struggling with this disease, self medicating with alcohol and running the streets.   I was not medicated at all for anything when the schizophrenia started. I will wait for the show to air before sharing any more.  I'm sure the show will cover alot of what I might say here. 

 I have a few comments on this.   My symptoms first started as insomnia.   So I started taking restoril prescribed by my doctor.  The insomnia didn't get better.  I started to feel persecuted, and I could
feel this leaf moving around in my head that I associated with mood swings for some reason.  Finally
I went to the hospital and talked to a psychologist.  She had me sign a paper stating that I would see a psychiatrist.  Later that night, I burned several of the papers, including the doctors she recommended.  The fire alarm went off, and I thought they were going to come haul me away to the mental hospital.  They didn't come.  I went to see a psychiatrist and was placed on xanax, and antianxiety medication.  Even with that, I couldn't sleep and was severely distressed.  Finally, the doctor put me on haldol.  It had pretty bad side effects, and I still wasn't sleeping.  He put me on prozac.  I went manic, and went off all medications, I was feeling so good.  I continued to see the psychiatrist, even though I wasn't taking any medicaitons.  I went through a surgery.   About a month after the surgery, I closed my eyes and drove my car off the freeway.  This was not a suicide attempt, but I ended up in the mental hospital and back on haldol.  All this time I didn't have a real diagnosis--It takes about 6 months before they give you a schizophrenia diagnosis, probably because 1/3 recover fully and do not later require medications.  You say you would be in a mental hospital.  I really doubt you would be in a mental hospital if they found a medication that would treat you.  I work at a full time job at a top-notch research lab.  You may say that I do not have schizophrenia.  However, I feel that I have a genetic component to my illness, so it is hard to deny it.
I don't have many symptoms at this time, the main one being paranoia.

My recommendation to you would be to shut up and let the people who need treatment get it.  They already have enough trouble with this kind of thinking, stigma about mental illness, and denial that they have a problem.  I suggest that there are many people with true mental illness, and if you think you have the solution, take one into your home and treat them.

Hello, I'm sure my story is not unique, but I want to say it. I need to say it. Get it out. The last 3 years have been a living hell. Right now, our 20 year old son, Michael, is in short term residential treatment for paranoid schizophrenia. He has been unable to attend school or work since his senior year in high school. It's been 3 years. He got accepted to FSU on a Bright Future Scholarship the summer before his senior year. WE were so proud so happy. He was happy.  

  

But as quickly as the excitement came, it disappeared just as quickly. A month later, he broke up with Emily, the love of his life that summer and slowly spiraled into a deep, deep depression. He turned to alcohol and drugs to self medicate and starting experimenting with harder drugs. He stopped getting up for class, followed me around the house sad and in despair. He wouldn't seek medical help and I was at a loss to reach my beautiful, gifted child. His first psychotic episode happened while visiting friends at FSU and using mushrooms that fall. He came home talking of aliens and being taken up in space ships and speaking rapidly and incoherently. His father and I hospitalized right before Christmas.  

  

He was angry and resentful and embarrassed. He was in denial. All the things in his head were now real to him and we were the enemy trying to ruin his future in college, and with his relationships with his friends.  He was being left behind and he didn't understand why. Everyone now thinks he is crazy. The football player, wrestler, community service award recipient, Calendar Couple, honor roll student etc. etc. etc. was gone.  

  

Now, his life was involved with lawyers for a DUI, a BUI, a drug paraphernalia charge, probation, home schooling, a 3 month stay in a dual diagnosis center in South Florida, another stay in the hospital, a 3 1/2 month stay in another local SRT unit. We went to AA together, we went to family therapy, we went individually to therapy.  

  

My husband and I separated. I filed for divorce. I needed to protect my 2 younger sons. They told me either Michael left or they were. They thought he could change if he wanted. They wanted their older brother back. Not this person that scared them, embarrassed them, made their mother cry. 

  

No insight. Michael was still in deep denial. He only took  his medications while in residential treatments which never lasted  more than a few months. He didn't need the meds, he gained 40 pounds, he hated the way they made him feel  and now look.  

  

He stopped. No more Geodon, no Zyprexia, no more drugs period except the Zanax that quiets his panic attacks but is addictive and harmful in the long term. It is the only drug he wants or takes and it scares the hell out of me. Why do the doctors give it to him? 

  

But, we are the ones with the problem, Michael believes he has no addictions to alcohol or Zanax. He has no mental illness, if everyone would just let him be, he would be fine. But, he has spoken in tongue, he gets messages from the TV. He reads the Bible for hours at a time. He can find no rest, no peace, no sleep, no happiness. He is trapped in his body and mind. He feels ugly and unloved.  

  

His dream for the future are distant memories. He has days he thinks he can go on to college, days he can make a difference in the world, but morning comes and his demon keep him locked up inside his fears and paranoia. He can't break outside the paranoia to move ahead and he can't  see it. The doctors keep saying no insight, no insight, no insight......................................... 

  

But he has times during each day, he hugs you, says "I love You", helps you, smiles at you. He still loves football, the news, music, good food, fishing and friends. He reads voraciously. His conversations are speckled with wit and intelligent, caring, a glimpse of the past. Then the demons step in and push everyone away. No one knows what to say, it is so hard to hear the crazy stuff you simply stop talking, stop calling, making eye contact actually doing anything and everything that may upset him. 

  

I would gladly trade places with my child. Any mother would change places. I do not want to give up hope, but I am tired and scared Michael won't come back to us healthy and whole.  

  

I don't know where to turn anymore for help. I read, and read, and research and talk to agencies and professionals and no one can help us find a safe place for Michael.  

  

I believe his only chance at a healthy life is to go into a long term residential facility with a structured day and medicine supervision. Perhaps a year  maybe longer i hope not but, he is no longer on my insurance and is now on Medicaid and there is no where or no one who wants to help anymore.  Money talks, money finds the best facilities, the best  psychiatrists. I am a only a teacher my husband is self employed.  

  

I was forced to drop Michael  from my state school system insurance  because he wasn't a college student and was living with his father at the time.Thank God, we have since reconciled and I have come to understand that it is not our fault, we did not cause this and we need each other to hold on to because no one else could live through what we do each day. No one could love this child as we do and no one will fight for his recovery if we don't.   

  

I am a teacher specialist/trainer, I have a degree in psychology and i spend my days offering parents and teachers hope for their children with disabilities. I can teach  them about behaviors or ADD/ADHD or learning strategies or brain research in learning. You name it i will find  them help, I will teach a class, I will develop a power point, I will put on a family conference for hundreds. But I can't help my own child........and what happens to Michael when his father and I are gone?  

  

I am so afraid for Michael .  My heart is broken and aches but I will not give up. I believe in the power of collective prayer. I want to believe in miracles. Please pray for Michael's  insight into the illness, please pray I locate a transitional home for him that takes Medicaid, please pray for my younger sons that they will find the courage to forgive.  

 I just want to make a little clarification to what you are saying here. People do not develop schizophrenia due to taking medication. I am not disagreing with you that someone may develop temporary symptoms that resemble schizophrenia due to a medication they are taking. ( I really don't know enough about that to comment.) But just because someone has some schizophrenic symptoms does not mean that they are schizophrenic. What you are describing would be considered adverse side effects to a medication (very extreme adverse side effects at that) not the psychology disorder schizophrenia.

 

I completely understand. I too consider myself a survivor of misdignosis because of side effects to medications. I went to seek help because I was dealing with problems at work. I fel harrased and I was having problems coping. I was given medication. In a matter of four days I went from a person having troubles eating, getting panicky, to a person with full blown panic attacks, catatonis, erratic behavior.

I sought help at the E.R because I thought I was going nuts. I couldn't explained what was happening to me. I voluntarily stay when I was asked. I was told it could be a night to a maximum of two. I agreed to that.

The problem is that they gave me further medication which caused more problems such as hallucinations, more attacks, screaming. Then I was shot several times with Haldol. My family wanted to take me home as they thought the drugs were damaging me.

The psychiatris who had prescribed the initial medications, was the one on the hospital and she took me to court to get me committed. This was new teerritory for my family.  My family was not allowed to speak to the lawyer or the judge. The judge commited me.

It was really devastating. I lost a semester of school. My family haaad to cleaned me from the drugs so I could become normal again. It was so bad the side effects from all the drugs that I couldn't even dress myself or feed myself without help. That was a year ago. I am happy to say that I am not on medication and I have a normal life. NO hallucinations.... no attacks... I am free of those drugs.

 i know it is hard for them but do not forget the family. we get no help and when one focuses in on you it
can be bad. you do not want to put them in jail. some family members want to kill them, really kill them.
and then you realize you have other problems. it is a very bad disease. i know you have to have a lot
of will power. and you have to take your medicine. if you do not. i do not know.