Quote From: ghacheyI truly did not know other people were having my exact same problem. I've been married for two years and I just don't know what to do. If I would have known my husband's love was so conditional based on two very angry children's approval, I never would have gotten into this mess. We have gotten to the point that I finally made the decision that I can no longer be a part of the children's lives because they are such a negative influence on my health and marriage. Sometimes I think at least if I left, I'd get out alive. I'm dying a slow death being in this house and marriage with such unsupportive and angy people. I want to chose me.
I don't want to complain, I want some "real" advice that works. Please Dr. Phil, is it really as hopeless as it seems? Please keep in mind that in my case, my husband will absolutely not help.
This is exactly the situation that caused me to break off my engagement to a fellow I truly cared for but who had no control at all over his then 8 year old daughter. We went thru therapy for a year trying to come to some common agreement, nope wasn't going to happen. I looked him in the eye and told him "We've got an 8 year old running the household and you won't control her. If she's this bad at 8 I'm not sticking around for the teenage years" My son's best friend goes to school with her and she is just what I expected her to be at 17: drugs, alcohol, school tramp. She asked my son's buddy for our phone number! M. told her not a chance, Gar didn't want anything to do with her. She's turned into a rather frightening young woman.
Sometimes no matter how hard you try, how much kindness you show, how much patience you practice, your partner still doesn't carry their part of the responsibility. It's time to cut bait when that situtation occurs; you can't fix it and he won't, run for your life.
