Replies to '11/22 "Yours, Mine & Ours"'

Wow, there are other families like mine going throught the exact same situations as my own.  I did get to watch part of the show today but had to leave mid-way through the show.  My situation is I have two children 13 yr old daughter and 9 year old son.  My daughter lives with me and my fiance and my son lives with his father.  My fiance has two children from a prior relationship 12yr old daughter and 16 yr old son, both live with their mother.  The problems that I'm facing since we have combined our homes and I moved to his hometown to be with him, is that ever since me and my daughter came here to live, his children have treated me differently.  Their mom is a huge problem in our relationship and constantly saying he spends more time with my children than his own and that ever since getting involved with me, that he thinks I'm all that (I do not act like this) I love his children as much as my own.  He pays just as much attention to his children as he does mine when they are over every other weekend.  The difference is my daughter lives with us and she's going to be there all the time.  My children are ok with my relationship to him and they love him dearly, but I'm not getting the same treatment from his kids.  His daughter  is angry that they don't spend time together like they used to because he is with me now.  We have tried to explain to her that we all are a family now and we are going to do things together like families do.  He was single for 3 years after their mom and him split up, and alot of attention went to his son and daughter because he stayed single and they did alot of things together, but they (mostly their mom ) is giving him grief because he needs to spend as much time as he used to with them ALONE, not with me.  There was never an issue before me and my daughter moved in with him, but now, I almost feel the tension and jealousy and the hate towards me and my daughter.  I don't want my daughter to feel because she lives with us that he doesn't  spend time with his own children like he should because he really does, it's just different now, because he has a family and he cannot just drop everything when they call and go do it.  Both of us work and he's at home with my children until I get home.  The mother is really involving her self more than I think she should. She has called be vulgor names in front of mine and her children.  I have been nothing but nice to her, handing down my daughters clothing to her for his daughter to help her out.  She will call the kids when their with us 10 times a day, and the daughter has said before, that mom does it to see where were at and what we are doing.  My opinion is if its an emergency I understand, but that's taking it a bit far to intrude on our weekends that we have with the kids.  I don't believe its any of her business what we are doing on our weekends, we don't call her when she has them.  I feel that because he is happy with me and we are going to get married and have another child of our own, that his children and their mother is upset and doesn't want that to happen.  BUT, their mother is living with a male figure and they don't have problems.  Why is it not ok for dad?  Myself and their dad have had numerous conversations about this and we want to stay together and not let the children ruin it for us, but this is so hard and frustrating for me.  How do I get through this?  Any suggestions ANYBODY???????   

Thanks, 

April