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longsm
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December 3, 2005, 6:40 am PST

Love being single...sometimes

Quote From: redd52

Being single for the most part is okay..yes, lonely at times..but here the state I live in it is VERY family oriented and couple oriented ( youngest age percentage at marriage  in the nation), so when you go to a movie alone or dinner alone...they have so much disbelief that a woman can or will go by herself...sometimes they have to shout it ...ONLY ONE or JUST ONE!!!!  I try to make jokes like yes, unless you can find me a date...or if I am really annoyed by the hostess I will say...it is allowed here, isn't it.?..I think they don't even realize how it sounds like I have a disease and it will rub off on others....I am more amazed at woman in their 70's and 80's that cannot believe I do not have a man at my side. And I cannot believe how many are amazed that I will go on vacation by myself.  I would like a wonderful man in my life again but I am not going to wait to do activities and places to visit, it may never happen and then I will have missed out on so many opportunities I wonder if any other woman at my age (53) or women at any age have this same thing happen to them wherever they live, or is it just my location? 

  

I have had the same experiences. I am not as confident as you and sometimes just cant face the stares when I go to a restaurant alone. Nor can I tolerate the patronising attitude of servers who think they are being kind by being extra nice to me because I am alone. I have friends but they are not always available and feel I shouldnt live half a life because I am on my own. I have been on a couple of vacations alone and had fun and been happy to go back to my room alone after a day of activity or sightseeing. However I have had various enquiries from women who are accompanied by partners about my situation. I went on a hiking trip in South America recently and a younger woman asked me if I was there to meet Mr Right.  What a shame that women in their 30's think like that. I can brush off this kind of attitude from older people of my Grandparents generation.  

The other hazard about being alone on vacation is that men alone think you are an easy target. I have had to take evasive action on several occasions.  

I agree you should not miss out on opportunities. I admire any woman who goes out and does her thing rather than sitting at home wishing. I dont think it is your location that is the problem but society in general. When you experience this.....look at the person behind the attitude and wonder who is more confident with themselves as a person? I feel sorry for women who cannot imagine life alone. I think you need to be able to function alone in order to function well in a relationship of any kind....friendship, love, partnership etc. If you cannot function alone it may mean too much of a dependant attitude.  

My advice is to take the stares and comments with a pinch of salt.Look around you and see how many people are truly not happy at the other tables in a restaurant. When you see a happy coule be pleased for them and try not to let it make you feel lonely.  
 
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cokimbo55
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December 12, 2005, 11:28 am PST

>Quote From redd 52< Lov being Sgl

Quote From: redd52

Being single for the most part is okay..yes, lonely at times..but here the state I live in it is VERY family oriented and couple oriented ( youngest age percentage at marriage  in the nation), so when you go to a movie alone or dinner alone...they have so much disbelief that a woman can or will go by herself...sometimes they have to shout it ...ONLY ONE or JUST ONE!!!!  I try to make jokes like yes, unless you can find me a date...or if I am really annoyed by the hostess I will say...it is allowed here, isn't it.?..I think they don't even realize how it sounds like I have a disease and it will rub off on others....I am more amazed at woman in their 70's and 80's that cannot believe I do not have a man at my side. And I cannot believe how many are amazed that I will go on vacation by myself.  I would like a wonderful man in my life again but I am not going to wait to do activities and places to visit, it may never happen and then I will have missed out on so many opportunities I wonder if any other woman at my age (53) or women at any age have this same thing happen to them wherever they live, or is it just my location? 

  

  I totally  agree, being single, and full of Life... You don't have to put up with  the "Yelling  or  Verfbal abuse,  such as:  "You Always  Do  This"  or  You  Never  buys  Me  anything". 

  I had  that experience  just  last week  on  our day with each-other,dic 09th, and You do  your best,   

  to give  her roses,  lillies,  gifts, and just because you decided to give a Homeless a $2 dollar bill,  

  she screams at you... and humiliates you in the street... I am sorry,  but that is not  my...  

  
 
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olauomita
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December 12, 2005, 11:07 pm PST

51 and my own person

Quote From: redd52

Being single for the most part is okay..yes, lonely at times..but here the state I live in it is VERY family oriented and couple oriented ( youngest age percentage at marriage  in the nation), so when you go to a movie alone or dinner alone...they have so much disbelief that a woman can or will go by herself...sometimes they have to shout it ...ONLY ONE or JUST ONE!!!!  I try to make jokes like yes, unless you can find me a date...or if I am really annoyed by the hostess I will say...it is allowed here, isn't it.?..I think they don't even realize how it sounds like I have a disease and it will rub off on others....I am more amazed at woman in their 70's and 80's that cannot believe I do not have a man at my side. And I cannot believe how many are amazed that I will go on vacation by myself.  I would like a wonderful man in my life again but I am not going to wait to do activities and places to visit, it may never happen and then I will have missed out on so many opportunities I wonder if any other woman at my age (53) or women at any age have this same thing happen to them wherever they live, or is it just my location? 

I am 51 and go out to movies and restaurants and never took offense at the question of alone or not. I have no issue going out alone, never have. It does not even occur to me that the question may have another thought behind it. I made my mind up in my teens to be my own person and really do not feel a stigma in society. There is a trade off in being single or coupled, there are advantages and disadvantages in either position.
 
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