Quote From: lady143I think you have to take your cue from your kids.
They are letting you know they are not ready to be away from you. It was not clear if you needed daycare to work or for your daughter to socialize? If it is not a "have to" thing then remember the more you try to forced the situation the worse it maybe come. She may just not be ready to feel safe with strangers. By supporting her she will grow up feeling like her needs matter to you, the most important person in her life.
Your son may be feeling disconnected from you and feel you are distracted. Try giving him 10 -15 min. of attention when he acts this way, just sit and hold him and let him know that you think he is as special as he thinks you are.
Even though the crying can be hard and frustrating, remember that they are just trying to communicate and just want their needs met by the one they love the most.
I can give you FIRST HAND advise from someone who is a worker at a daycare. I am a classroom teacher, primarily for the ones and two-year-olds.
Separation anxiety happens with almost all children. It is understandable. But, I can guarantee that by you placing more attention to it, the worse it will get. We have several ones and especially two year olds who cry "Mommy, Daddy" for about 15 minutes after they get dropped off. What we, the teachers do, is called redirecting, getting the child onto another activity, with their friends, while mom and dad slip out quietly. It is common. It is heartbreaking. It CAN BE OVERCOME......
We had a boy who would CRY AND SCREAM Mommy Daddy ALL DAY LONG. That was about 3 weeks ago. Now his parents drop him off, and he is with his friends and happy. You have to learn by kids crying, having a tantrum, WHATEVER, they are doing this for attention.
We, at our learning center, are very loving and caring workers. We do all we can to make the child feel comfortable. It is so hard for the parents. To hear your child screaming is heartbreaking.
(In another comment I saw someone write about biting--THIS IS SOOOO COMMON. Some children bite more than others. We redirect and make them sit for a while. Telling them they have to be nice to their friends, ETC......)
Let me also comment on the fact that make sure you are taking your child to a very good learning center/daycare. Where I work is a learning center/daydare/preschool. We have lesson plans, even for infants, ones, twos. We stimulate the brain ALL DAY LONG. There are STRICT RULES about everything. Ratios, food handeling, positive reinforcement.........Make sure you walk through daycares during regular hours. Notice how the teachers are. Notice the directors of the daycare.
Its like if you put your child to bed. They cry, they scream. Parents give them attention. The child has got what he/she wanted. You have to learn to reinforce what you are teaching and do not give in. Put them back in the bed. Over and over. No talking while you do this. Do not look at them while you do this. They will learn.........This is what happens and the kids basically run over the parents like a steamroller.
Another point I want to make is that I have seen children inside of daycare and ones who have not been to daycare. Daycare/Learning Centers are SOOO beneficial. My two years olds that I have are so far ahead of twos I have seen just sitting at home with mommy. They are serving themselves, eating with utensils and regular cups..From ages 1-5 their brains are like sponges. Get the kids involved in manipulatives, creative play, building blocks, socialization. It is so beneficial for them.
Good luck to everyone contemplating on this and I hope I have shed some light on the topic.
