|
November 22, 2005, 7:45 pm PST
11/22 "Yours, Mine & Ours”
Quote From: lh2000What percentage of your life revolves around your in-laws and step kids?
Is the rest worth you backing off?
Let me see if I'm reading your post correctly
Clearly his family and kids do not want to include you in a relationship with him.
He clearly wants to keep his connection with his family.
Somehow they (including your husband) have gotten the impression that you are preventing him from contacting them.
You have three options let him have it both ways be your husband and maintain a relationship with his family (even if is excludes you) , make him continue to sneak to avoid conflict or leave him.
If this is a good guy with a strange family I would give him space and permission to be with his family and not confront him anymore about it. If he is a jerk then I would make his life miserable and snap at him every time I caught him calling them, accuse him of not loving me enough and other emotional blackmail (tit for tat) you know the drill.
I can so relate to being shunned by your inlaws and the tension it can put on a family. My inlaws never liked me and never made any bones about it and to this day none of our three beautiful children have ever stayed one night at their house. It really hurts and puts a terrible strain on our marriage but you have to learn to accept who these people are and just let it go. I don't like who they are but forgive them for treating me and my children the way that they havebecause they are not worth one more ounce of stress. For me I don't have a problem with my husband talking to his family and visiting as he wishes but ask that he not force me or the kids to attend anything or put on a fake face any longer as I have wasted far to many years doing this!
|
