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Replies to 'My Adoption Story'
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November 27, 2005, 8:39 pm PST
 Quote From: shannonok Hi. I am new to this forum. I thought I would share....
In February of this year, 2005, I met this man who will eventually become the biggest burden I have ever encountered. I was in a drunken stupor when I met him. See, I am an alcoholic. And, at that time I was on a binge.
In March, I moved in with this man.
In April, he called a chaplin over to the house and we got married. I say "we" but, it should have been just "him," since I was not there mentally.
In May I found out that I was pregnant.
In June, I sobered up.
In July, I ran screaming, and went back to live with my mother, and consulted an adoption agency.
In August, the adoption agency moved me closer to my 5 year old daughter, the town.
In September, I felt the little life inside me move for the first time.
In, October, I found out that I was carrying a little girl, and everything was developing "perfectly."
Now, here it is, the end of November, and I am getting closer to the day. I am scared. I KNOW that I am making the right decision, HOWEVER, I do dread the day that I have to say goodbye.
I do NOT feel like I am giving my baby away, I feel like I am giving my baby a life. A life that I cannot give her. She deserves to be with a mommy AND a daddy. To have the things that she needs, AND wants. I cannot do that.
The couple I have chosen seem wonderful. She is a dance instructor, and he runs his own truck and car repair shop. They aren't millionaires, but, they are doing very well financially. I know money isn't everything. Love is. But, love doesn't buy diapers.
I would just really like some insight as to what I am about to experience from someone that has been there.
Thanks Just keep tellin your self that is this is for her. Yes it will be hard but just think of all the good times she will have with her new mommy and daddy. It will be hard and yes you will cry and you will miss her.
if you ever want to talk about it my e-mail is angle4buffy2Yahoo.com |
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December 2, 2005, 11:22 pm PST
Quote From: shannonok Hi. I am new to this forum. I thought I would share....
In February of this year, 2005, I met this man who will eventually become the biggest burden I have ever encountered. I was in a drunken stupor when I met him. See, I am an alcoholic. And, at that time I was on a binge.
In March, I moved in with this man.
In April, he called a chaplin over to the house and we got married. I say "we" but, it should have been just "him," since I was not there mentally.
In May I found out that I was pregnant.
In June, I sobered up.
In July, I ran screaming, and went back to live with my mother, and consulted an adoption agency.
In August, the adoption agency moved me closer to my 5 year old daughter, the town.
In September, I felt the little life inside me move for the first time.
In, October, I found out that I was carrying a little girl, and everything was developing "perfectly."
Now, here it is, the end of November, and I am getting closer to the day. I am scared. I KNOW that I am making the right decision, HOWEVER, I do dread the day that I have to say goodbye.
I do NOT feel like I am giving my baby away, I feel like I am giving my baby a life. A life that I cannot give her. She deserves to be with a mommy AND a daddy. To have the things that she needs, AND wants. I cannot do that.
The couple I have chosen seem wonderful. She is a dance instructor, and he runs his own truck and car repair shop. They aren't millionaires, but, they are doing very well financially. I know money isn't everything. Love is. But, love doesn't buy diapers.
I would just really like some insight as to what I am about to experience from someone that has been there.
Thanks When I was 17 years old, back in 1993...I was getting over a relationship that ended badly when I met him. All of his words, his smile, and the way he treated me was enough for me to know that I absolutely needed to be with this man, or so I thought. We dated for 2 months before I got pregnant with our son. He was just ecstatic at first, but as the pregnancy went on, he was distant...spending as much time away from me as he could. When I was 8 months pregnant, with so much pressure from both sides of the family, we were married. In August of 1994, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and he couldn't have been happier. That's when the abuse began. I would ask him to help me and I would usually get slapped or thrown into a wall for that. He found it very hard to express his anger in a constructive way and really found it hard to hold down a job. To add to the "happiness" in the life we were living, I got pregnant with our daughter who I gave birth to in 1996. I really started taking the beatings after that and there wasn't anybody in law enforcement that would ever help me. In 1997, it got really bad because we were low on money, my husband at the time would not hold down a job, and I was too scared to leave. Our children were placed for adoption in 1998 with a wonderful family. The adoptive father is an airline pilot and the adoptive mother is just a stay at home mom. The kids are together and couldn't be happier. I still hurt sometimes over the decision that I made, but I know that they wouldn't have half of what they have now if they would've stayed with me. I was not mentally, emotionally, or financially capable of taking care of my children and I know that. I know that what you're going through is very hard, but if you have the child's best interest at heart...you're doing the most wonderful thing that any mother can do....give a child a chance at life. If you want to e-mail me, we can talk. sweetnlow_47@msn.com. I wish you the best. God bless...HUGS |
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