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Replies to 'Searching for Birth Parents'
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August 14, 2005, 6:29 pm PDT
 Quote From: jestam4 I am currently looking for my brother whom my mother gave up as soon as he was born (4/25/76). He was born in Indiana. Their adoption records are closed and it has been very hard to get information. I have gotten the Non-Identifying Information on him. They say they cant give me the Identifying Information without attorney representation. How do you find an attorney who does this and what does it cost?? I would love to find him. Just to meet him once and talk to him would be AWESOME!!! I was 3 when he was born. My mom didnt have to give him up. She wasnt even raising me, my grandmother was and did. I feel like I have to pay the price for what my mother did. I understand using the choice of adoption for many reasons but when you use it as a means to run, shrug off your responsibilities, and revenge---that I dont understand. It affects a lot of people in certain circumstances. There doesnt seem to be a lot of support or information for siblings who are searching for other siblings. Just thought I would share a little of my story. Good Luck and GOD Bless to everyone out there searching. Tammy INDIANA
Obtaining Non-Identifying Information: Adopted adults, birth parents, and adoptive parents may obtain non-identifying information.
(National Adoption Information Clearinghouse)
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/country/9577/ http://www.aci.net/schaefer/page60.html
Also, is that your posting on the www.registry.adoption.com for your sibling? Have you checked into the other person listed on the registry there named Edward? He was born only an hour away from your sibling. Just thought I would point that out in case you were unaware.
Best of luck to you!! |
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May 24, 2007, 2:23 pm PDT
Quote From: jestam4 I am currently looking for my brother whom my mother gave up as soon as he was born (4/25/76). He was born in Indiana. Their adoption records are closed and it has been very hard to get information. I have gotten the Non-Identifying Information on him. They say they cant give me the Identifying Information without attorney representation. How do you find an attorney who does this and what does it cost?? I would love to find him. Just to meet him once and talk to him would be AWESOME!!! I was 3 when he was born. My mom didnt have to give him up. She wasnt even raising me, my grandmother was and did. I feel like I have to pay the price for what my mother did. I understand using the choice of adoption for many reasons but when you use it as a means to run, shrug off your responsibilities, and revenge---that I dont understand. It affects a lot of people in certain circumstances. There doesnt seem to be a lot of support or information for siblings who are searching for other siblings. Just thought I would share a little of my story. Good Luck and GOD Bless to everyone out there searching. Tammy
Dear Tammy;
I am a birthmother who gave up a child for adoption when I was 17 years old. I was not mature enough to take care of myself much less a child that would rely on me totally for all of his needs. I am not saying that the choice of adoption is the right one for all of us. I am saying that being an unwed mother in the past was not just scary but also society saw unwed mothers not as someone in need but as stupid cows that didn't care about the welfare of their children and I am here to say for myself that I did care. That is why I went to a reputable adoption agency in my general area. I do not know nor do I assume to speak to your particular issues. I am just speaking for myself and others that found ourselves pregnant, scared and pressured to do what society said at the time was "best" for the unborn life we carried. There is support out there. it is called Concerned United Birthparents. There are groups in most major cities in several states. You can find out more at www.cubirthparents.org Do not let the birthparents listing put you off. It is a triad communicating support for adoptees, birthparents,adoptive families and the people that care for them. Please take the time to visit one of groups closest to you and let the healing touch your life. I hope that you take this as my offering and not as me trying to tell you how to feel. All of us need to know that however we feel is a valid and worthwhile thing. As is learning more about situations that concern us are.
God Bless you in your journey wherever it leads you.
Kathleen Strait
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