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Replies to 'Abuse'
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August 8, 2005, 10:08 am PDT
 Quote From: gaktstoner yesterday i phoned the court appointed family therapist and made an appt for the children to see him in the afternoon-he also felt it was a good idea given the weeks incidents. i e-mailed my h to let him know. he sent an e-mail back to me "how dare i make that type of decision regarding our children without his input and he can't be at the appt bc of a meeting and he insists on being at the childrens appts."! I phone the therapist back and my h had already phoned him. the therapist said that he tried to encouraged my h to have the children come in, they needed to be seen by him, asap. He said to me that i am the parent looking out for the childrens best interst and that he encourages me to keep the appt. I e-mailed my attorney and she agreed i should keep the appt. SOOOOO, i took the children to the appt. My h showed up and dropped off an envelope for the therapist and left for his meeting. the therapist said that the children opened up to him and he was glad that i brought them in. After the appt, my d went to cheer, my son went to a friends house and i went to DV for a support group! my h was at the court appointed "parenting classes" we had to attend. when i got home there was another e-mail from my h saying "your e-mail regarding the childrens appt is indictative of the problem. you just make crucial life decision without my input. from now into the future unless there are extenuating circumstances were i can not be reached, you need to contact my on any and all decisions concerning our children, house and pets. you have no right to make these type of decisions on your own". Ofcourse i forwarded the e-mail to my attorney and printed it out! he is so sick! In the mail yesterday I received a copy of a letter from my attoney that his attorney wrote. My h is denying any aligations/reasons I filed for my reasons for a divorce and he is asking the judge to dismiss the case. I think that's all for now............................................................ Your hubby is trying to up the ante so MORE. Just because he tries doesn't mean you have to let him get away with it.
I wouldn't contact him on ANYTHING regarding the kids -- but hey -- that's just independent old me.
As your support person, what I would encourage you to do is to inform him of the "need to know" information. I would also suggest you ask ALL your counselors how to handle this situation.
HE chose to remain in the home while there was a divorce going on -- what did he EXPECT -- a fun ride?!?
While I wouldn't necessarily call him "sick", I would say that his BEHAVIOR is controlling and manipulative. What he is trying to do is CONTROL the minutia (i.e. EVERYTHING). That isn't realistic in the real world.
You MUST make decisions regarding your children everyday. What does he want? For you to call him and ask what clothes your kids need to wear to school today? Or worse, what if there was a emergency are you just supposed to wait until HE decides what hospital they need to go to to get stitches? Geez -- give me a break.
You MUST act in the best interests of your kids and if his children are not important enough to cancel a fricking meeting just what kind of message does THAT send to the counselor AND to a judge? Not a good one.
Your kids deserve counseling, they NEED help sorting all this out for themselves and I am PROUD OF YOU for watching out for them.
You are a good Mom, GAK!
BRAVO on the support group too! Q |
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