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Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'
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November 30, 2005, 4:30 pm PST
 Quote From: feliss75 Hello everybody!
I see and hear about so many people that are searching (just as I have done) for love, respect and selfworth at/within other people. The thing is I believe that we all have to find and decide within ourselves, just like me, that I am worthy and loveable, and I have to start respecting and loving myself on a daily basis.
I've always been very harsh towards myself, and to certain degree towards others. And I also have had (still have to a certain degree) problems to trust others because of my fears. I'm still struggling with trusting the universe and following the guidance I get. This is the most hardest part of my work with myself to trust and know that I'm loveable and worthy, and also trusting the guidance I get towards living the life I am meant to be living. I am having my ups and downs emotionally, like we all have.
The thing is we all have to work with ourselves, and I believe I am worthy of taking the time to work with myself, and is honored to do so. Even if this a tough job that some people never have the courage to do.
I welcome your opinions/feedback on this, please write. Feliss Feliss, I believe that we all were raised to take care of others before ourselves. That it's better to give than receive. and it's true if you are doing it the right way.
I heard something last week that really has me reflecting on my life: Just because I forgive someone doesn't mean I have to get stupid.
It was said during a conversation when a woman asked another: I keep forgiving and forgiving and they keep walking all over me. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?
The answer was: forgiveness is about "me". Forgiving a person who will use you, take advantage of you, or abuse you isn't about allowing them to continue it. It's about forgiving them and you --- as you both have played a role in the relationship. It's also about acknowledging that you can not change anyone but yourself. That you are the only person who controls what you think, feel, and do.
Acknowledging and forgiving the other person means accepting them for who they are and taking care that you do not fall victim again.
It's about taking care of yourself - cause the truth is, once you do you do different. And you meet new people who do as you do.
I really do believe that we bring to us people like us. That as we mature and grow, we will bring to us people of like.
And it's true for me now. When I met guys who I would have felt honored to go out with 3 years ago, I now see them as what was/has been wrong for me. I hear what they are saying, I see what they are doing and I understand now that my needs are so much different now. I respect myself. I live with in the boundaries of my values and with integrity. When I don't, I hurt. And if the new people in my life do not live to values and integrity that I feel are bottom lines for me, I allow them to leave my space. I do not expect them to live my values/integrity --however, truthfulness, honesty, & loyalty are high on my list now.
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