Replies to 'Pregnancy Loss'

I suffered a loss May 24th of this year.  I was almost 18 weeks along, way past the first trimester and I thought for the most part, out of the woods.  I had no warning; no bleeding, cramping, NOTHING.  I went for a regular OB appt and my Doctor could hear no heartbeat.  I scheduled an emergency D and C, came out of surgery three hours later (should be 15 mins) having lost a large amount of blood.  I had to stay in ICU for two days and receive five blood transfusions and seven units of plasma.  My pregnancy was not planned but after four daughters, this son was a very welcome surprise!  I so very much planned for him and was anxiously awaiting his arrival.  Life goes on and the worst of it is the things people say to you and the way people don't talk about it as if he/she is forgotten.  That's the worst of all of this; he was a part of me and will always be.  I will never, ever forget him.  I have gotten much better; not sure why, but just hang in there because time does make it better.  It's normal to continue grieving, there's no right way or wrong way.  No length of time.  Be positive and surround yourself with friends and family who are your support team and will listen to you speak of your baby, your loss, and your feelings.  We grieve for what we didn't have versus someone who loses a person in their life, they grieve for what they had.  It's just a little different and we feel cheated and wonder what we did to cause this.  I don't think that guilt and blame ever goes away.  Just hang in there.  You are not alone......