Replies to 'Getting Pregnant'

 Hello.  I am not going to give you advice, only respond with an example of what happened with my sister, and it may or may not shed some light on some things.

My sister was with a man for about eight years, and in that time she wanted to get married, eight years together you would think he would too. But he kept changing the subject on her and this and that.  When I had my first child at 17, being my older sister (and also being with me in the delivery room) I think she realized she wanted a baby too.  She is nine years older than me.  Her boyfriend at the time didn't want a baby or get married....then all of a sudden they were gonna get married and she had a ring and everything....he still didnt want a baby...and eventually the wedding was called off and they broke up...  Now she is married (to someone else) and they have a son who will be 1 in Jan 2006.

The point of my story is that you have to follow your heart and your instincts.  I'm not telling you to get a divorce and find a guy that wants a family right off the bat.  But you need a mate who wants the same things as you do, and you need to know before you get too serious like marriage.  Its better to be apart from him (if he never wants kids) than carry that resentment your entire life with him.  You have to ask him seriously, make him aware just how deeply you feel about this subject.  Dont' get pregnant and expect him to change, he'll only resent you for making him feel like you're trapping him.  Being a mother is the most important role you may ever have, and I know what it feels like to say " why not me?" But what is most important to you? are there other issues besides this that are leading to your divorce?  A baby won't make the problems go away, but I do understand your need to be a mother.  You just have to make up your mind to what you really want in life, its all about choices, don't stay with him if you're only going to resent him and think about him not letting you be a mother every single day.  It will only make things worse.  Know what you want and don't be afraid to make a choice....hope that helps.