Replies to 'Getting Along With Your In-Laws'

I do aggree with you that we have spent ALOT of time checking up on her and proveing what we new was true, and that it seems a little on the stalking side as you say, but you do not know the whole story, that would take a book to explain, and what you also don't know is the lies that my SIL has sayed about me and my family, and that I am not the type of person to let that go. IF it is wrong or not, I just couldn't. She has attacked us so badly, the things that she was saying were intended to destroy the one thing I hold most importantly and that was my family. She was trying to destroy her nieces and nephew parents marriage out of jealousy and spite, and yes I took the low road to prove that she is a bad person, that needs help. And I live in a VERY small town population 650, and for some reason small towns work differently and I am very respected in this town, my church and school, and like I have said I didn't do the right things, my neighbors didn't either by listening, but for the most part people always want to listen to the lies, and the hurtful rumors, and when I would try to defend my family, it is like they didn't want to hear it, sometimes people wanted to believe a lie instead of the truth, so I had to prove that she was as many people say Toxic, and a liar, so that my kids could go to school and walk down the streets and not be bugged or talked about in a manner that was brought on by lies, Wrong or Right I would do it again, to protect my family. It would be one thing if what she was saying was true. I was not out to destroy her marriage, I was not the one forceing her to cheat, take the drugs, or lie about so many people. I didn't force her to do a single thing, those are all decisions she made herself, and like it or not, there are many people in this world that do think the same way I do,  I should not have to explain myself and my actions that was not the intention of my message, I still am willing to work it out with her for the sake of family, but now this family knows that they were being told lies and they have told me that they were wrong for believing her and listening and that is what I set out to do was prove that she was trying to destroy what we had going. I am very happy with the outcome, my life since this has been great, my husband and I  have gotten a huge weight off our soulders and members of this famliy now see the truth. And everyone sees her for what she is.  

You asked why was it so important to prove she was cheating, I am sorry but we couldn't sleep at night knowing what she was doing, while he was working so hard to put a roof over her head, and provide for his family, (which the paternity of the child is being questioned because of the type of life she has lead, and if you read my first post you will see I put in there he was told he had a 1% chance of having a child) and a roof over the head of her daughter from a previous marriage, and she was running around, and he loves her so much he wouldn't have believed any of this with out the proof and she has proven what a fantastic liar she is and that this was our only option was to get the proof so that she could not lie her way out of anything and accept the fact of what she had done. 

I didn't devote as much time as you think I did, it takes all of 5 minutes to turn on a computer and print an email and be done. My husband and I own a concrete company and have 3 kids, I am constanly busy with just those 2 things, never mind a 4400 sq. ft. house to clean and laundry, cooking, and everything else that life requires. My family was not neglected one time for anything while we were spending a few minutes here and there chceking up on her, and hardly any converstions about it either till the end.  

And yes I could say some nice things about her and will do that right now, My SIL was a great friend of mine at one time, she is a beautifull person on the outside, and I believe has the oppurtunity to pull her life around, and I would be there if and when she is ready to do that, she and her husband have worked hard for what they have, and she doesn't,  that I know of treat her kids wrong intentionally, but these were her decisions and your right there is nothing that I can do about it. But I don't hate her, nor does my husband. We just don't know how to overcome this, and that was all I was looking for, not an attack on my actions or finger pointing, cause I have said it plenty we did not start this, we just ended it before something really bad happened, like her leave our brother and clean him out, or over doses and dies. You never know. We really thought and will continue to think that we did the right thing, cause otherwise she would still be seeing the guys and running her loose lips and destroying people for fun. And that just doesn't set right with me, or my husband and family. 

I do aggree with you that we have spent ALOT of time checking up on her and proveing what we new was true, and that it seems a little on the stalking side as you say, but you do not know the whole story, that would take a book to explain, and what you also don't know is the lies that my SIL has sayed about me and my family, and that I am not the type of person to let that go. IF it is wrong or not, I just couldn't. She has attacked us so badly, the things that she was saying were intended to destroy the one thing I hold most importantly and that was my family. She was trying to destroy her nieces and nephew parents marriage out of jealousy and spite, and yes I took the low road to prove that she is a bad person, that needs help. And I live in a VERY small town population 650, and for some reason small towns work differently and I am very respected in this town, my church and school, and like I have said I didn't do the right things, my neighbors didn't either by listening, but for the most part people always want to listen to the lies, and the hurtful rumors, and when I would try to defend my family, it is like they didn't want to hear it, sometimes people wanted to believe a lie instead of the truth, so I had to prove that she was as many people say Toxic, and a liar, so that my kids could go to school and walk down the streets and not be bugged or talked about in a manner that was brought on by lies, Wrong or Right I would do it again, to protect my family. It would be one thing if what she was saying was true. I was not out to destroy her marriage, I was not the one forceing her to cheat, take the drugs, or lie about so many people. I didn't force her to do a single thing, those are all decisions she made herself, and like it or not, there are many people in this world that do think the same way I do,  I should not have to explain myself and my actions that was not the intention of my message, I still am willing to work it out with her for the sake of family, but now this family knows that they were being told lies and they have told me that they were wrong for believing her and listening and that is what I set out to do was prove that she was trying to destroy what we had going. I am very happy with the outcome, my life since this has been great, my husband and I  have gotten a huge weight off our soulders and members of this famliy now see the truth. And everyone sees her for what she is.  

You asked why was it so important to prove she was cheating, I am sorry but we couldn't sleep at night knowing what she was doing, while he was working so hard to put a roof over her head, and provide for his family, (which the paternity of the child is being questioned because of the type of life she has lead, and if you read my first post you will see I put in there he was told he had a 1% chance of having a child) and a roof over the head of her daughter from a previous marriage, and she was running around, and he loves her so much he wouldn't have believed any of this with out the proof and she has proven what a fantastic liar she is and that this was our only option was to get the proof so that she could not lie her way out of anything and accept the fact of what she had done. 

I didn't devote as much time as you think I did, it takes all of 5 minutes to turn on a computer and print an email and be done. My husband and I own a concrete company and have 3 kids, I am constanly busy with just those 2 things, never mind a 4400 sq. ft. house to clean and laundry, cooking, and everything else that life requires. My family was not neglected one time for anything while we were spending a few minutes here and there chceking up on her, and hardly any converstions about it either till the end.  

And yes I could say some nice things about her and will do that right now, My SIL was a great friend of mine at one time, she is a beautifull person on the outside, and I believe has the oppurtunity to pull her life around, and I would be there if and when she is ready to do that, she and her husband have worked hard for what they have, and she doesn't,  that I know of treat her kids wrong intentionally, but these were her decisions and your right there is nothing that I can do about it. But I don't hate her, nor does my husband. We just don't know how to overcome this, and that was all I was looking for, not an attack on my actions or finger pointing, cause I have said it plenty we did not start this, we just ended it before something really bad happened, like her leave our brother and clean him out, or over doses and dies. You never know. We really thought and will continue to think that we did the right thing, cause otherwise she would still be seeing the guys and running her loose lips and destroying people for fun. And that just doesn't set right with me, or my husband and family.