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Replies to 'Love Being Single'
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June 14, 2006, 2:06 pm PDT
 Quote From: longsm
I have had the same experiences. I am not as confident as you and sometimes just cant face the stares when I go to a restaurant alone. Nor can I tolerate the patronising attitude of servers who think they are being kind by being extra nice to me because I am alone. I have friends but they are not always available and feel I shouldnt live half a life because I am on my own. I have been on a couple of vacations alone and had fun and been happy to go back to my room alone after a day of activity or sightseeing. However I have had various enquiries from women who are accompanied by partners about my situation. I went on a hiking trip in South America recently and a younger woman asked me if I was there to meet Mr Right. What a shame that women in their 30's think like that. I can brush off this kind of attitude from older people of my Grandparents generation. The other hazard about being alone on vacation is that men alone think you are an easy target. I have had to take evasive action on several occasions. I agree you should not miss out on opportunities. I admire any woman who goes out and does her thing rather than sitting at home wishing. I dont think it is your location that is the problem but society in general. When you experience this.....look at the person behind the attitude and wonder who is more confident with themselves as a person? I feel sorry for women who cannot imagine life alone. I think you need to be able to function alone in order to function well in a relationship of any kind....friendship, love, partnership etc. If you cannot function alone it may mean too much of a dependant attitude. My advice is to take the stares and comments with a pinch of salt.Look around you and see how many people are truly not happy at the other tables in a restaurant. When you see a happy coule be pleased for them and try not to let it make you feel lonely. Hi,
I am single; I think it's best for me, as I like to "pick up and go". I, personally, do think that someone who is not married or seriously involved would be happier in a big city - "where it's all happening!"
I find that most of the major cities are definitely geared toward single people. There are travel clubs, dances, dinners, wine tasting, ski-trips, camping, hiking, theatre for singles! You name it, they have it.
These places understand that we are FUN people who do not want to have another person attached to us all the time, as well as not settling into a boring routine with a mate.
Some, not all, married people are actually jealous, because they are bored. They are not independent. They know this, and in return, try to put single people down to make themselves feel better.
FEEL SORRY FOR THEM... BE HAPPY FOR YOU |
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June 15, 2006, 9:08 am PDT
Quote From: longsm
I have had the same experiences. I am not as confident as you and sometimes just cant face the stares when I go to a restaurant alone. Nor can I tolerate the patronising attitude of servers who think they are being kind by being extra nice to me because I am alone. I have friends but they are not always available and feel I shouldnt live half a life because I am on my own. I have been on a couple of vacations alone and had fun and been happy to go back to my room alone after a day of activity or sightseeing. However I have had various enquiries from women who are accompanied by partners about my situation. I went on a hiking trip in South America recently and a younger woman asked me if I was there to meet Mr Right. What a shame that women in their 30's think like that. I can brush off this kind of attitude from older people of my Grandparents generation. The other hazard about being alone on vacation is that men alone think you are an easy target. I have had to take evasive action on several occasions. I agree you should not miss out on opportunities. I admire any woman who goes out and does her thing rather than sitting at home wishing. I dont think it is your location that is the problem but society in general. When you experience this.....look at the person behind the attitude and wonder who is more confident with themselves as a person? I feel sorry for women who cannot imagine life alone. I think you need to be able to function alone in order to function well in a relationship of any kind....friendship, love, partnership etc. If you cannot function alone it may mean too much of a dependant attitude. My advice is to take the stares and comments with a pinch of salt.Look around you and see how many people are truly not happy at the other tables in a restaurant. When you see a happy coule be pleased for them and try not to let it make you feel lonely. I'm 42, never married but have never let that stop me from going out. I've been to Britain, Germany, on a cruise to Mexico and around the US on my own. The cruise was a little awkward, since they do seem to be couple oriented. I think the key is to be friendly and outgoing. I was in Santa Fe NM by myself once and went out to dinner at nice restaurants. One evening I sat at the bar and ate dinner with the locals and watched the NBA Finals. Had a great time! I often see couples out at dinner that don't even speak to one another. I always bring a book along just in case. Try not to worry about what other people are thinking of you, they are probably thinking about themselves or something else anyways! Trudy |
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