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August 6, 2005, 11:38 pm PDT
I know that feeling too
Quote From: gjwoldt I know how Jennifer feels, I have suffered from severe depression, anxiety , and ptsd for 17 years; Although my traumatic event leading to ptsd was not as horrible as hers, the outcome is the same. For 16 of the 17 years I did nothing but bounce from therapist to therapist and Psychiatrist to psychiatrist until I continued to have alot of pain and other symptoms and was diagnosed with Fybromyalgia. It is then that I was sent to Janet the therapist I see now who is teaching me EMDR and thought Field therapy. If this effects anyone I urge you to go online and put in the words Roger Callahan,PTSD or Francine Shapiro,PTSD You will find A ton of info on these two techniques if talk therapy isn't working for you. good luck Jennifer!!! I had issues after a robbery and a few other things. The robbery was just kind of like the straw that broke the camels back, i believe. I remember the next job I took, I actually hit the floor twice when I got spooked by people that came in, and ended up quiting because of an incident where I couldn't llock the door after closing(someone had taken the keys). I still am spooked easily.
I just recently realized that I had convinced myself, somewhat rightly at the time, that the world was a scary, unpredictable place and I wasn't really safe anywhere. Only recently have I realized that that isn't true. It was so ingrained in me for so long to protect myself that getting over it felt like setting myself up for something awful to happen again. It's terrible the amount of stress that put on me from being so diligent, when the whole reason my mind adopted it was to make me safer. I felt so awful hearing how that's affected her. I can imagine. I did. I remember when the sight of a young man pulling out his wallet literally had me hitting the floor in anticipation of a gun. I realized I've spent alot of years waiting for and expecting that gun to go off. I hope she doesn't spend so many years before she realizes how self-destructive instead of helpful that kind of hyper-diligent state is.
Good luck Jennifer,
I know what you have gone through, I hope you find the world really is the same world it was before. It's just really hard to see that after having witnessed the worst it had to offer.
Kim
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