Quote From: a_n_otherMynde was allowed to believe for 20+ years she was the product of a sacrementally adequate marriage. She's entitled to be hurt and disappointed that her father now considers his marriage to her mother deficient in the spiritual sense from the outset. Whilst that may not make her legally illegimate I'm not surprised she feels devalued as a daughter. The annulment allows her father to behave in Church, a place which is obviously important to her, as if the marriage to her mother hadn't taken place.
Dr. PHil always tells married people that they need to be sure that the other person really gets what they did to them and until that happens, nothing will be ready for healing. I think that in this instance, the girl's dad does not acknowledge the pain and hurt he has caused these girls by doing what he did. He doesn't really seem to be at all concerned that he hurt these girls by being so disrespectful of the family they grew up in.
Personally, I'd personally be so disappointed in my dad if he had done this sort of thing. It's just not right however I think it's a shame that their dad has fallen off of his pedestal.
For the girls, I hope they understand that this is so not about them. It's about him and his shortcomings, his inability to have a successful relationship with their mother - not with them.
I've found over the years that the best gift I can give my worst enemy is to wish them well and hope that one day they come to a better place in life where they expect more from themselves.
