Quote From: drphil2005you wrote almost exactly how i feel.
i have been married for 5 years and have been verbally, emotionally,
physically abused. i lost myself a long time ago because of my H.
we went to counselling last year after he was arrested cuz of physical
abuse.
he got defensive so i didnt want to go anymore. it worked some.
the physical stopped. i think he got scared after he was arrested,
plus everyone knew what he had done.
then he started to gamble. and lie to me. he lost $14000 of our
money. he promised to stop. then i just found out a month and
a half ago he was doing it behind my back again. when i confronted
him, he denied it and lied to me a bunch of times until i told him
the evidence i had.
he wanted to make me out to be the liar.
he has been insecure, jealous, controlling, immature, whiney,
etc.
i am not happy and have not been.
after i found out he gambled again a month and a half ago,
and he lied to me again, i told him i didnt love him and havent
for all these years. i have just been existing and he destroyed
who i am.
i am not happy now even though he wants me forever.
i hardly have feelings for him. i really dont want to be here.
i rather be with my kids alone.
so i know how you feel.
my husband was in denial for year til recently, because i
was about to leave. but it is like.....too little too late for
me emotionally.
i just have to have the guts to finally go. i am so
miserable i can hardly stand it. i am only in my 30's
and dont want to live unhappy forever.
love isnt abuse, lying, gambling and making your
spouse feeling like they are pure trash.
I am finally on my way out as well. I was there once before....physically out, but got caught up again in all the 'right' words. I just read from Dr. Phil, once you're out, stay out. I wish I had seen that a year and a half ago. I guess I was so beaten down emotionally, that to give him another chance, was such a good thing to do on my part. What an amazing person I am to take all that I had from him for years, forgive him and try to make it work. That was my way of building myself up. So today, I sit here, with full knowledge that I've let another year of my life go with no truly remarkable change in how I'm treated by him. Standing up to him and not allowing him to 'get away' with treating me like crap, fuels the challenge in him even more to break me....how sad. I'm a giver, he's a taker and I KNOW that my being here is not helping anything, nor will it. So I'm in the angry stage right now, he wants to share my feelings and talk about it and work through it....and I'm done.
I see the other stories here and I realize we're here for a reason, I'm here for a reason, understanding that I need that push to keep my mind clear and focused. Last time, I didn't reach out for that....the "I can do it all on my own" thing. So here I go....round 2....ding ding.
